- Vera Stone: I trust you have what the Grand Magus is waiting for.
- Alyssa Drake: I don't, but I can explain.
- Vera Stone: Oh, good. An explanation is much better than a rare magical artifact.
- Randall Carpio: [consoling Jack] Hey, man, we've all been there.
- Jack Morton: You've all lost a girlfriend after being hunted by a necromancer for a magic phone that calls dead people?
- Randall Carpio: Yes. Metaphorically, yes.
- Ruby: [hit on by two men] How about you both just leave me alone and let me finish my work? - unless one of you knows how to test pharmacological reaction times on adverse psychotropic mood elevators.
- [Randall opens his mouth to respond, but then hands it off to Ben]
- Ben: Oh. I mean, I'll leave that one to you.
- Randall Carpio: [to Ruby] You could try a radioactive tag and check cortex distribution levels using a PET scan.
- Ruby: You can stay.
- Randall Carpio: Yes.
- Randall Carpio: [to Ben] Bye!
- Gabrielle Dupres: We are going to cleanse The Order of liars and traitors and werewolves.
- Brandon: Oh, my.
- Ben: Keep your hands to yourself, bitch.
- Lilith Bathory: Oh, I'M the bitch? You're gonna look real cute when I turn that wallet chain into a leash and make you roll over.
- Hamish Duke: Heeey. Heeey, let's all take a breath. You know, there's only one way this plays out. She insults you, then I try to talk everyone down, but you get insulted by something I say and threaten me, then she'll insult you again, and you'll do something stupid like swing at me. She punches you, your pals step up, the whole place jumps off, and someone calls the cops; so, what if, instead of all that, we buy you guys a round and call it a night?
- Ben: Call me stupid again, dumb-ass.
- Lilith Bathory: You know, aggression is a sign of a micropenis.
- Ben's Buddy: D'you hear that?
- Jack Morton: [drunk and amused] Micropenis.
- [Ben swings at Hamish, Lilith punches him, Ben's pals step up, the whole place jumps off, but contrary to Hamish's forecast, no one calls the cops]
- Gabrielle Dupres: [in false friendliness] I'm totally sorry to interrupt this whole drama, but... you both need to come with me.
- Alyssa Drake: Not now, Gabrielle.
- Gabrielle Dupres: I have the authority to bring you...
- Alyssa Drake: That's enough! Now listen, Acolyte...
- Gabrielle Dupres: No, you listen, you stuck-up, beautiful, blonde Medicum! I am Gabrielle fucking Dupres. I kill werewolves, punish the guilty, and I AM the law; so, I'm gonna tell you one last time - you and your trailer park boyfriend need to get to the goddamn temple now... before I get mad.