- Andy Samberg: At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend, she hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad. Maaaan, this ain't my dad! This is a cell phone! I threw it on the ground! What, you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system. My dad's not a phone! DUH!
- Andy Samberg: Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party. "Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it?" Happy birthday to the ground! I threw the rest of the cake, too! Welcome to the real word, jackass!
- Andy Samberg: I go to my favorite hot dog stand and the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free." I said, "Maaaaan! What do I look like? A charity case?" I took it and threw it on the ground! I don't need your handouts! I'm an adult! Please! You can't buy me hot dog, man!