The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV Series)
Pilot (2017)
Rachel Brosnahan: Miriam 'Midge' Maisel
Photos
Quotes
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : My life completely fell apart today. Did I mention my husband left me? Okay, did I mention that he left me for his secretary? She's 21 and dumb as a brillo pad. And I'm not naive, I know that men like stupid girls, right?
Guy with Blonde : Uh...
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : But I thought Joel wanted more than stupid, I thought he wanted spontaneity and wit. I thought he wanted to be challenged, you know what I mean?
Blonde in Front Row : Uh...
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : You two are gonna be together forever.
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. It's Yom Kippur. I'm supposed to be fasting, atoning for my sins in the eyes of God.
Susie Meyerson : So?
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : So, I'm eating peanuts.
Susie Meyerson : You showed your tits to half of Greenwich Village. You think the fucking nuts are what's going to piss Him off?
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Do you love it?
Lenny Bruce : Do I love what?
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Comedy. Stand-up. Do you love it?
Lenny Bruce : Seriously?
[Midge nods]
Lenny Bruce : Well, I've been doing it awhile. Ok, let's put it like this: If there was anything else in the entire world that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would. Anything! I'm talking dry cleaners to the Klan, crippled kid portrait painters, slaughterhouse attendant. If someone said to me, "Leonard, you can either eat a guy's head, or do two weeks at the Copa," I'd say "Pass the fucking salt." It's a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist. Like cancer. And God.
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : But do you love it?
[Lenny shrugs, grins sheepishly, and walks away]
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Yeah. He loves it.
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Everybody steals his act?
Joel Maisel : Yes! No, not steals. Borrows. It's no big deal.
Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : It's not? When I found out June Friedman used my meatloaf recipe, I almost stabbed her in the eye with a fork.
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Tonight was an isolated incident. There are medications I can take to make sure that never happens again.
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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : He was in Buchenwald, throw him a bone.