Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Stayin' Alive (2014)

Valerie Bertinelli: Melanie Moretti

Quotes 

• Melanie Moretti : Oh my God, Alex Trebek!

  Narrator : That's right, but on weekends I'm Park Ranger Alex Trebek, and I'm here to save you. I read your smoke signals telling me that there were women here in...

  [to camera] 

  Narrator : Jeopardy.

• Melanie Moretti : What are you even doing here?

  Bob : Well, I got Joy's sexy text.

  Joy Scroggs : My text said I needed a few days off.

  Bob : The text I got said you wanted me to get you off for a few days!

  Joy Scroggs : Ohhh! Stupid auto-correct.

• Victoria Chase : I just need time to think. Oh, if only there were a hideout I could go to where the police couldn't find me.

  Melanie Moretti : If only someone among us had a criminal past.

  Victoria Chase : And was once married to the mob.

  Joy Scroggs : And is right here. And old enough to remember where she was when Caesar was assassinated.

• Melanie Moretti : What are we going to do? We're too young to die.

  [pause] 

  Melanie Moretti : OK, we look too young to die.

• Melanie Moretti : I wish there was some way we could call for help.

  Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, um, there's a fireplace. I learned to make smoke signals when I was a child.

  Joy Scroggs : Oh, did you learn that on your playdates with Sitting Bull?

  Elka Ostrovsky : What was your Indian name? Sleeps With Everyone?