Archer (TV Series)
Fugue and Riffs (2013)
Jessica Walter: Malory Archer
Quotes
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[Archer drives off in a limousine Malory wanted]
Malory Archer : Son of a bitch!
Pam Poovey : YOUR words.
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Lana Kane : I'm serious. I want it on record that I think this is a terrible plan.
Malory Archer : Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing.
Lana Kane : As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damsel-y?
Malory Archer : Pam.
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Ray Gillette : To reiterate! I am paralyzed!
Cyril Figgis : Well join a support group.
Malory Archer : For who? Cripple, gay, hillbilly spies?
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[Mallory and Lana are watching Archer from across the pool]
Malory Archer : Ugh. Now damsel up and get over there. And remember, you have to pretend you don't have a history together.
[they watch the waiter bring Archer a drink; he sips it, then immediately spits it out and starts coughing]
Sterling Archer : For the... sour mix? In a margarita? What is this, Auschwitz?
Lana Kane : [sighs] I always do.
[she walks away]
Malory Archer : Like a big brown giraffe.
Cheryl Tunt : Oooh, or an ostrich.
Malory Archer : [sighs] Remind me why I let you idiots come.
Pam Poovey : For the free rooms? 'Cause the only thing you are more than mean is cheap?
Malory Archer : Oh, shut up. And just because you own this place...
Cheryl Tunt : I think I just own the conglomerate that owns the holding company that owns the hotel chain that owns it.
Malory Archer : Don't even think about screwing up our plan to cure Sterling's amnesia.
Cheryl Tunt : His what?
[across the pool, Archer is still yelling at the waiter]
Sterling Archer : Five ingredients: tequila, Cointreau, lime juice, ice, kosher salt! Oh, and sorry about the Auschwitz crack, that's... that's not like me. I've been under a lot of stress lately.
Waiter : I'm not Jewish.
Sterling Archer : Did I ask for your life story?
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Malory Archer : I'm off for a seaweed wrap.
Ray Gillette : [sotto voice] I didn't know they made sushi with dried clams.