- Will McAvoy: Miss Greer, you mentioned creeping Islam, are you concerned about creeping Christianity?
- Phylis Greer: Only that it's not creeping fast enough.
- Will McAvoy: Okay. Here are some things done on American soil in the name of Christianity. The Ku Klux Klan burned down black churches, raped women, murdered civil rights workers, murdered children and terrorized communities for over a century. The Neo Nazis all acted and continue to act in the name of white Christian supremacy. The Army of God fatally attacks abortion clinics and doctors across the country. The Covenant, the Sword and the Arm of the Lord targets local police and federal agents. The federal building in Oklahoma City. The attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan and the successful assassinations of Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, and Abraham Lincoln, all perpetrated by Christians. Miss Greer, we weren't attacked by Muslims, we were attacked by sociopaths, and I for one would join you in protesting a community center for the criminally insane, but no one is suggesting building one.
- Sloan Sabbith: Okay...
- Don Keefer: Sup?
- Sloan Sabbith: Okay, I know we were on sketchy ground ethically and linguistically, but...
- Don Keefer: Whatever you're gonna say, save it for ten seconds.
- Sloan Sabbith: What happens in ten seconds?
- Don Keefer: Just hang on for another 5 seconds and know that we've all been there at one point or another.
- Sloan Sabbith: What happens in five seconds?
- Charlie Skinner: [storming into the room, screaming] What in the name of holy fuck were you thinking about?
- Sloan Sabbith: [sighs, turns to Will] Please I have to fix this now. Help me. I need wisdom.
- MacKenzie McHale: [interrupts] I have wisdom.
- Sloan Sabbith: Kenzie I love you, but a Japanese man's honor is at stake, and sometimes your wisdom leeds to... like...
- [imitates explosion]
- Sloan Sabbith: .
- MacKenzie McHale: [looks at Sloan for a few seconds] No, I get it.
- Charlie Skinner: You're suspended with pay until I figure out...
- Sloan Sabbith: [Sloan cut's him off] They were lying about a public safety issue.
- Charlie Skinner: You're suspended with pay...
- Sloan Sabbith: [Sloan cut's him again screaming] I don't want the goddamn pay!
- Charlie Skinner: Don't front off with me, girl!
- Sloan Sabbith: Don't call me girl, sir!
- Don Keefer: Hey!
- Don Keefer: Everybody calm the f**k down!
- Jim Harper: Tell me about the complaint.
- Maggie Jordan: There was a desk producer who saw Will yell at me about something.
- Jim Harper: What?
- Maggie Jordan: Doesn't matter.
- Jim Harper: What?
- Maggie Jordan: Doesn't matter.
- Jim Harper: [looks at Maggie]
- Maggie Jordan: I mixed up Georgia the State with...
- Jim Harper: No!
- Maggie Jordan: yes, Georgia the country.
- Jim Harper: And this was...
- Maggie Jordan: Yup.
- Jim Harper: during the invasion.
- Maggie Jordan: This isn't about me.
- Jim Harper: You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?
- Maggie Jordan: In retrospect it seems farfetched.
- Charlie Skinner: I, along with most people who don't live in Japan, am not fluent in Japanese, so I have to ask: did you just *make up* statements for someone we had live on our air?
- Sloan Sabbith: I didn't make them up...
- Charlie Skinner: About a *deadly radiation leak*?
- Sloan Sabbith: I didn't make them up. He told me the reactor was going to a seven.
- Charlie Skinner: When? Tonight? I'm asking, honestly, because there was a portion of the broadcast that turned into a Kurosawa movie.
- Maggie Jordan: But that wasn't what he was actually mad about. The wife of a board member died and Will asked me to send flowers. I wrote on the card, "I'm sorry about your loss. LOL".
- Jim Harper: LOL?
- Maggie Jordan: I thought it meant "lots of love".
- Jim Harper: How are you still working here?
- Maggie Jordan: I dodge bullets. Here comes a bullet. Boom! I'm over here. Ping! Here comes another bullet. Boom! I'm over here.
- Will McAvoy: Who else's body have you guarded.
- Lonny Church: We don't talk about that.
- Will McAvoy: Okay.
- Lonny Church: Kanye. It was awesome.
- Will McAvoy: Sloan this is Lonny. You'll see him around.
- Lonny Church: Good to meet you.
- Sloan Sabbith: Wow. Can I tap your chest?
- Lonny Church: Sure.
- Sloan Sabbith: [laughs] Holy cow.
- [looking at Will]
- Sloan Sabbith: Have you felt his pecs?
- Will McAvoy: No, I haven't yet.
- Sloan Sabbith: But that's not we he told me earlier when we were speaking...
- [stops]
- Charlie Skinner: Finish that sentence.
- Sloan Sabbith: ...off the record.
- Will McAvoy: How does this work?
- Lonny Church: I pick you up at your home in the morning and escort you to your office. Then I pick you up at your office at night and escort you to your home. I'm with you any place that's an unsecured area.
- Will McAvoy: What's an unsecured area?
- Lonny Church: Anyplace that isn't your home or your office.
- Will McAvoy: I'm single. What about a date?
- Lonny Church: I don't think we should get romantically involved.
- Will McAvoy: You get one joke a day.
- Lonny Church: Mr. McAvoy...
- Will McAvoy: You can call me Will.
- Lonny Church: Yeah, I was gonna do that anyway. I know you're used to being the boss. But you're not anymore. At least for a little while.
- Will McAvoy: How long?
- Lonny Church: Until my colleagues chase down the source of the threat or, of course, if you've been successfully assassinated.
- Will McAvoy: A joke?
- Lonny Church: What'd you think?
- Will McAvoy: It was all right.