- Kenny Bilko: My boys are bad ass.
- Cyril Figgis: Well, so am- Lana. And I'm learning. Oh, and don't forget about Archer.
- Kenny Bilko: The drunk guy?
- Cyril Figgis: Well, he may have seemed drunk, but he's...
- Lana Kane: [off-screen] ... still drinking?
- Sterling Archer: [next scene] Relax, Lana, it's just a bloody mary.
- Sterling Archer: [toward bartender] And by the way, not a great one, Mr. Vodka and Ketchup.
- Lana Kane: Archer, at any time in the next 12 hours, this train could be attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists.
- Sterling Archer: [chuckling] Armed with what? Pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control laws?
- Lana Kane: Ugh, the New Scotland Front *has* guns, and they're not afraid to use them, so...
- Sterling Archer: So OK, God! I'll switch to coffee.
- Sterling Archer: [to bartender] Hey, Heinz fifty-*six*, can I get an Irish coffee?
- Lana Kane: No!
- Sterling Archer: Lana, I have to taper off!
- Sterling Archer: Lana, I have to taper off! Trust me, if these... Noma Scojens are a real threat, you do *not* want me hungover.
- Lana Kane: Do you even still get hangovers?
- Sterling Archer: Normally no, but I drank about two gallons of mamajuana this afternoon. I was, uh, playing dominoes with a... Dominican bike gang. Or was it Mahjong? I don't remember.
- Malory Archer: [off-screen] Ridiculous!
- George: No, no! What are you doing? Besides making a mess all over my train?
- Sterling Archer: [Holding a bloody steak that has dripped down the length of the hall] Uh, I'm looking for a terrorist and an ocelot.
- George: What?
- Sterling Archer: Not necessarily in that order.
- Lana Kane: Please tell me that's a smoke grenade.
- Sterling Archer: OK.
- [pause]
- Sterling Archer: It's not, though.
- Cheryl Tunt: George says you stiffed him.
- Malory Archer: What? No, I didn't. I gave him a tip.
- George: A stick of gum?
- Malory Archer: Well?
- Pam Poovey: Really?
- Ray Gillette: Did you not have a button?
- Malory Archer: Dammit, I told Sterling six o'clock!
- Sterling Archer: I *thought* you meant six *A.*M.
- Malory Archer: No, six - Sterling, are you drunk?
- Sterling Archer: [Drunk, loud, and incoherent] Winner!
- Kenny Bilko: Nice.
- Lana Kane: Archer...
- Malory Archer: You knew we were transporting a dangerous terrorist to Canada! So how and why you are drunk at six o'clock?
- Sterling Archer: [Slurring] Well, the how's pretty self-explanatory, and the why is because...
- Sterling Archer: [hiccough] I thought we were leaving at six *A.*M. *tomorrow*. Ergo - Latin - plenty of time to sleep it off.
- Malory Archer: [after being in a cramped car surrounded by luggage] Ridiculous! This thing's a sardine can! How are people supposed to travel like this?
- George: Most people bring less luggage.
- Malory Archer: Most people fly. So your days of sullen superiority are numbered.
- George: I have no response for that.
- Malory Archer: They never do.
- Lana Kane: In what way, in what possible way did that work?
- [Lana asks Archer after he lobbed a grenade in the bar car of the train]
- Sterling Archer: Well-eh, A, they are all incapacitated. And B, I got to blow up a train.
- Lana Kane: Well, thanks, Gomez.