Community (TV Series)
Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts (2012)
Yvette Nicole Brown: Shirley Bennett
Photos
Quotes
-
Annie Edison : [to Andre And Shirley] Hi, sorry, don't want to interrupt. But you are cordially invited to prevent a disaster.
Britta Perry : I promise to put your dreams before mine.
Jeff Winger : I promise to bottle up my repulsion at the sight of your hair in the drain.
Britta Perry : I promise to earn no more than 70% of what you would make at the same job.
Jeff Winger : What about babies?
Britta Perry : What about 'em?
Jeff Winger : How many?
Britta Perry : Pick a number, dick! Like it's up to me!
Shirley Bennett : What in God's name are you two doing?
Britta Perry : Getting married. What does it look like we're doing?
Shirley Bennett : You two are damn fools.
[to Minister]
Shirley Bennett : Oh, sorry.
Minister : I'll allow it.
Britta Perry : I am a fool. I was a fool to think I wasn't destined for a life of this. I mean, look around. Can you even imagine what kind of wedding I could throw if I actually gave a crap? No offense.
Shirley Bennett : Knock it off.
-
Troy Barnes : You're having your wedding in the study room?
Shirley Bennett : Our church has certain policies regarding things like second weddings, and tight jeans and... Calico cats.
-
Shirley Bennett : Um, Jeff, I was wondering if you would do us the honor of giving a toast at our wedding?
Annie Edison : Good idea! Jeff has a lot of thoughts about marriage.
Jeff Winger : I would be honored.
-
Jeff Winger : Look, I can't get behind this marriage thing, either. It was invented back when "till death" meant "till your first cold." I mean, life's too long to spend it with someone else.
Britta Perry : It's a sucker's game.
Jeff Winger : It's a mutual cop out. I mean, just nut up and die alone.
Britta Perry : Mmm.
[Britta and Jeff high five]
Shirley Bennett : [enters] Hello.
Britta Perry : Oh, my God, we're so happy for you!
Jeff Winger : You are glowing.
Shirley Bennett : I know, isn't it exciting?
-
Shirley Bennett : Everyone just come and... relax
[lowers her voice]
Shirley Bennett : and behave normally.
Abed Nadir : [scoffs repeatedly] That's the noise people make when they're offended in all the movies that Annie rents.
[Annie scoffs]
Troy Barnes : We'll try not to embarrass you at your community college library wedding.
Shirley Bennett : Thank you.
-
Shirley Bennett : And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there.
Dean Pelton : Okay, okay, and how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be?
Shirley Bennett : Well, initially, the fiscal... wait, that question makes no sense.
Dean Pelton : Ah! I know. I just want to sound as good at business as you are.
Shirley Bennett : Oh!
Dean Pelton : I probably shouldn't say this, but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale. You're very professional.
-
Shirley Bennett : Andre, sorry I'm late. I have wonderful news.
Andre : [angrily] Where were you?
Shirley Bennett : Uh, getting wonderful news. The Dean loved our pitch and...
Andre : Your pitch? Woman, I've been waiting for you for two hours.
Shirley Bennett : [sweetly] Oh, no. Has it been that long? I'm so sorry.
Andre : Don't you dare use your sexy voice on me.
Britta Perry , Jeff Winger : [realization] Ohhhh!
-
Britta Perry : Shirley, my ninth-grade english teacher used to say, "there will always be a reason not to follow your dreams." At the time, he meant I was under the age of consent, but his words still apply. Are you sure your wedding is the reason you're bailing on this business with Pierce?
Shirley Bennett : Uh, in the words of my ninth-grade english teacher, "you are dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'."
Britta Perry : Fine, we both went to public school.
