- Eric Sanders: I swear to god, I would give back *half* my salary if they would let me *punch* a parent once a year.
- Mitch Carter: Listen to this, "The boy said I was hungry, hungry, hungry. This shows he was hungry."
- Kate Carter: Teacher of the year, huh?
- Lowell Hammer: We're in California.
- Clive Hammer: You can stay here at home.
- Lowell Hammer: If you don't wanna go all the way out over here, stay here at home. Why?
- Clive Hammer: Three words.
- Lowell Hammer, Clive Hammer: Weed is legal.
- Steven Queeg: It's the only song I know.
- Eric Sanders: And I don't know it at all.
- Steven Queeg: You know, uh... that's a problem, 'cause he doesn't, uh...
- Eric Sanders: But I-I look good. So...
- Steven Queeg: And it's a duo. So, we have to do it together.
- Eric Sanders: I add color.
- [Steven imitates laughing. Eric laughs]
- Clive Hammer: [Lowell Hammer hangs up the phone] Who's that?
- Lowell Hammer: Didn't get in.
- Clive Hammer: Great.
- Lowell Hammer: Another kid didn't get in.
- Clive Hammer: See. But that opens up a slot for another kid.
- Lowell Hammer: So that's how we look at it. You gotta have a positive attitude.