Archer (TV Series)
Diversity Hire (2010)
H. Jon Benjamin: Sterling Archer
Photos
Quotes
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Agent Lana Kane : Have you noticed anything weird about Conway?
Sterling Archer : Other than the fact that he's not circumcised?
Agent Lana Kane : Wow. Okay. Glossing over *how* you know that...
Sterling Archer : We touched penises...
Agent Lana Kane : No! Glossing!
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Sterling Archer : What? You're black... ish.
Agent Lana Kane : Ish?
Sterling Archer : Well, what's the word for it, Lana? You freaked out when I said 'quadroon'.
Agent Lana Kane : Imagine that!
Sterling Archer : You imagine it!
Malory Archer : Both of you imagine shutting up!
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[Archer and Conway are clinched, naked. After they separate, Archer looks down]
Conway Stern : What, you, uh, you see something you like?
Sterling Archer : Wh- no, you... queer.
Conway Stern : [laughs] Oh, *I'm* queer? From the guy whose tiny gun came with a matching purse.
Sterling Archer : Hey, it's got plenty of stopping power.
Brett : Hah! That little...
[Archer shoots Brett]
Conway Stern : Oh shit!
Brett : God damn it, Archer!
Sterling Archer : See that?
Brett : Again!
Sterling Archer : He was putting on his pants, and I stopped him. So you just watch your step, mister... damn it.
Conway Stern : Hey, right there, what you should have gone with was "Sammy Gay-vis Jr."
Sterling Archer : Damn it!
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Sterling Archer : You better call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone.
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Sterling Archer : Danger zone!
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Pam Poovey : You're kidding.
Sterling Archer : No, I'm dead serious.
Pam Poovey : Yeah?
Sterling Archer : I want to file an HR complaint against Conway.
Pam Poovey : On what grounds?
Sterling Archer : He touched my penis with his penis!
Pam Poovey : Wow.
Sterling Archer : Yeah. He just came up to me and was like, bwoop!
Pam Poovey : Where?
Sterling Archer : All of it! Head and shaft.
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Sterling Archer : [about to throw grenade] Oh, I had something for this one... uummm... Eat grenade!
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Sterling Archer : Seriously, Lana, call Kenny Loggins 'cause you're in the danger zone. From Top Gun!