- Frank Reynolds: Paddy's Pub Stress Ball! You give this to people, they put it on their desk, and during they day, you squeeze it when you have any tension!
- Dennis Reynolds: Right.
- [he squeezes it and it breaks]
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh goddammit, Frank! That's just an egg!
- Frank Reynolds: It's a jumping off point.
- Charlie Kelly: We're both men of the law, you know? We get after it, you know, we jab a jaw, we go tit for tat, we have our little differences, but at the end of the day you win some, I win some, and there's a mutual respect left over between us.
- Attorney: No, any respect that you're feeling that's coming from me is a mistake on your part.
- Charlie Kelly: [looking at attorney through binoculars] Oh shit, I see him. He's walking towards the car. He's walking towards the car!
- Dee Reynolds: Get down!
- Charlie Kelly: Why's he coming towards us?
- Dee Reynolds: Get down and hold still!
- Attorney: [gets in driver's seat of the car] Alright... So um, what are you people doing in my car now?
- Attorney: I will take care of all of your legal needs as long as each of you agrees to never seek my legal advice again.
- [to Dennis]
- Attorney: And you promise not to break into my home and rape my wife while she's sleeping.
- Dennis Reynolds: Bro, rape? I wasn't talking about raping your wife. I was talking about making love to her sweetly while she sleeps, and I was gonna do it for you, you son of a bi- all right, fine, I won't do it.