Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates the Car (2009)

Tyler James Williams: Chris

Quotes 

• Narrator : The only person more excited about me getting a car was Greg.

  Greg Wuliger : Oh, man, this is awesome! This isn't like when you had your dad's car. This car's yours. We can go to the shore to get girls. We can drive into Manhattan to get girls. We can go to Coney Island to get girls.

  Chris : You do realize it's still gonna be us in the car, right?

  Greg Wuliger : It doesn't matter. Cars equal girls.

• Chris : [to the police officer after his car is broken into]  So what I'll do now?

  Police Officer : Fill out this form and we'll see what we can do.

  Narrator : Which means, "Now that you've wasted my time, allow me to waste some of yours."

• Chris : [to Rochelle]  You smoke?

  Drew : Ma, the Surgeon General says you can't...

  Rochelle : I know what he says. It's written on the side of the box.

  Tonya : Then how come you still smoke?

  Drew : Yeah. If there was a sign on the side of our dinner that says it will cause cancer and birth defects, you would slap the salad out of us if you found us eating it.

• Chris : Wait a minute. I still don't understand how the pack of cigarettes got in my drawer.

  Rochelle : Well, I didn't put them there.

  Julius : Neither did I.

  Drew : Me neither.

  [Tonya has a guilty look on her face; everyone looks at Tonya] 

  Chris : Ooh.

  Rochelle : Tonya, if you were smoking, so help me...

  Tonya : Mama, I wasn't smoking. I was going through your stuff and I found them and Daddy almost caught me, so I hid them in Chris's room so he would get in trouble instead of me.

• Julius : [to Rochelle]  How did you get my racing form?

  Rochelle : Well, I was going through your stuff looking for my stuff.

  Drew : [to Julius]  How did you find my pen?

  Julius : I thought you had my racing form.

  Tonya : [to Chris]  And how'd you find those cigarettes anyway?

  Chris : Cause you put them in my drawer.

  Rochelle : [to Tonya]  Mmm. You see, this is your fault. You were in there doing something that you ain't had no business doing and the next thing you know, nobody's business is everybody's business.

  Tonya : Are you gonna put me on punishment?

  Rochelle : Is that your business?