- The Carny: You know, I'm not sayin' that rides are only for the dumb or insane, but I am sayin' they're only for the insanely dumb.
- The Carny: All stories tell the truth! But it's just words, not facts. Your story stopped being real the moment you met James, and your story became his story. Or a few minutes ago, when you first saw me, that's just a story now. It's not still happening.
- James: This is crazy! We're in a boat that can't float, talkin' to some dead clown who's givin' us psychedelic nostalgia mumbo-jumbo bullshit!
- The Carny: There's nothing alive here except stories. After something happens, that's all there is. The stories are the only truth that can still be experienced.
- The Carny: Do you really remember what happened, or do you just remember the story that you've told over and over again about it ever since?
- The Carny: There's no tellin' what'll happen to her on her own. Did you ever stop to think that whatever's happening to her alone will happen to you both together?
- The Carny: Be aroused and amused, be confused and abused, but you'll laugh yourself silly in the funhouse!
- The Carny: What is the matter with you? Don't you have eyes? It looks like you got eyes! But if they're not working, maybe I can find the appropriate rusty implement.
- The Carny: This is a pitching game! You have played the great American sport, haven't you?
- James: Actually, I have, and I'm pretty good at it.
- The Carny: Well, you're old enough now not to listen when a guy talks about himself like that, aren't you, sweetie?
- Kristy: I don't fall for anything you say about yourself.
- The Carny: Well, I'm not a man. Not anymore, anyway, but thank you very much... for rubbin' it in. I'm sorry I don't have salt to pour in my lonely wounds.