- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, if she's not calling you back, you should probably take the hint.
- Chuck Bass: I went to see her last week. She never came home. It's not like our girl to be out all night. I know something's going on. This is more than having her dirty laundry out on Gossip Girl.
- Serena van der Woodsen: She, um... she got rejected by Yale.
- Chuck Bass: [nods] The only thing she wanted more than me.
- [sighs]
- Chuck Bass: That would be painful.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Chuck, she's embarrassed... So we just need to give her time to lick her wounds.
- Chuck Bass: Maybe I could lick them for her.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Ugh!
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] The danger with calling someone's bluff is that even if you win...
- Blair Waldorf: Goodbye, Chuck.
- [walks away]
- Gossip Girl: ...you risk them walking away from the table for good. And who wants to play with themselves?
- Blair Waldorf: [Blair walks towards a group of people in conversation] So, what are we talking about?
- Upper Crust #1: It's good to see you. Is your mother here?
- Blair Waldorf: No. It's a shame, though, she should be here to see this.
- [Blair clinks her glass briefly to one of the ladies glass]
- Upper Crust #2: You must have her call me. Gerald and I just got engaged and I need an Eleanor Waldorf design for the big day.
- Blair Waldorf: Sure, though I think she discontinued her third-trip-down-the-aisle-only-took-the-plunge-for-the-money line.
- Upper Crust #1: Oh Blair, I think you've had too much to drink.
- Blair Waldorf: Oh, you would know. Three DUI's now, is it? Not that I blame you.
- [Turns to the husband]
- Blair Waldorf: Her way to escape the whispers that you made your money in adult-entertainment websites.
- Chuck Bass: [Chuck suddenly appears behind Blair, trying to stop her sabotage by dragging her away] I'm sorry, everyone.
- Blair Waldorf: Bye.
- Chuck Bass: [Chuck and Blair are just walking away but Chuck quickly backtracks to speak to the husband] Big fan of your sites.
- Society Matron: [She walks over towards Blair, who's talking to Serena and Chuck] Blair Waldorf.
- [They air kiss]
- Society Matron: How are you, dear? I heard you rejected the Colony Club. Too stuffy for my taste as well.
- Blair Waldorf: That's because your taste includes sleeping with your driver and popping prescription meds.
- [Blair mockingly raises her glass at the Matron before she walks away]
- Chuck Bass: [re Carter] What are you doing with this insect?
- Blair Waldorf: [spitefully] Having the time of my life, thank you very much.
- Blair Waldorf: [girls shopping] Do you know how exhausting it's been being Blair Waldorf for the past eighteen years? All the work, the planning.
- Serena van der Woodsen: You mean plotting?
- Blair Waldorf: Yes... exactly. I'm glad it all blew up in my face. It was a wakeup call. I was such an overachiever, I was headed for a quarter-life crisis at eighteen.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, B, you, you've had a couple of setbacks, but... there must still be a way to get into a great college, and if anyone can do it, it's you.
- Blair Waldorf: No, S. I've learned the hard way. I can't control everything... plan everything. Now, with Carter's help, I'm trying something different. In fact, if I'm somewhere and I can say "Blair Waldorf would never do that"...
- [puts on sunglasses as if its hers]
- Blair Waldorf: Guess what. I'll do it.
- [walks away]
- Serena van der Woodsen: B. B, you have to pay for those.
- Blair Waldorf: [playfully spiteful] So call Security.
- [walks off]
- Lily van der Woodsen: Did you and Blair find anything you liked at BBH?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, Blair certainly did.
- [notices list her mother made]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Are you reorganizing?
- Lily van der Woodsen: Oh, no, just reminiscing.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [takes a peek at list of men] Why is Bart's name next to Trent Reznor and the...
- [realizes:]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, my God!
- Lily van der Woodsen: It's...
- Serena van der Woodsen: Mom, what is that?
- Lily van der Woodsen: It's...
- Serena van der Woodsen: No, no, please, don't answer.
- Lily van der Woodsen: It's a long story between me and Rufus.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Wait, you're not showing Rufus that, are you?
- Lily van der Woodsen: Well, we agreed to be upfront with each other.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Upfront, okay. But, Mom...! It's gonna take him twenty minutes to get through the '90s alone.
- Lily van der Woodsen: I know, I know. We got into this tiff because...
- [sighs]
- Lily van der Woodsen: he hadn't told me he dated Bex. And then the next thing I know, I was saying yes to lists. And how am I gonna back out now? Besides, I'm not ashamed of my past.
- [glances at two-page list]
- Lily van der Woodsen: Most of it, anyway.
- [worriedly:]
- Lily van der Woodsen: Do you think he'll judge?
- Serena van der Woodsen: I think you should just sneak a peek at his little black book before you drop the Yellow Pages on him. Just make sure your numbers are on par.
- Lily van der Woodsen: [softly] Okay.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [looks at that list] Slash? Seriously?
- [her mother nods, and Serena looks dismayed]
- Serena van der Woodsen: [at party] Blair! Hey. You... you look great.
- [chuckles]
- Blair Waldorf: I feel great.
- Chuck Bass: Why?
- Blair Waldorf: Because... I realize that while we can't tear out a single page of our life... we can throw the whole book in the fire.
- [this quote does not go down well with her friends]
- Blair Waldorf: George Sand... she understands me. And what better place to go up in smoke than in front of the creme de la creme of New York society?
- Society Matron: Blair Waldorf. How are you, dear? I heard you rejected the Colony Club. Too stuffy for my taste as well.
- Blair Waldorf: [sweetly] That's because your taste includes sleeping with your driver and popping prescription meds.
- [the shocked woman backs off]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Okay. Not good.
- Blair Waldorf: Not good. Like Dan-having-sex-with-Rachel-Carr-in-the-costume-closet-during-the-school-play not good.
- [Blair looks down, hurt]
- Blair Waldorf: By the end of tonight, the old Blair will be dead and buried with no chance of resurrection.