- Chris: How am I supposed to get a letter in a sport when I'm terrible at sports?
- Greg Wuliger: Maybe there's something a guy like you would be good at.
- Chris: I need a sport without water, balls, hoops, hurdles, bats, cleats, clubs, gloves, tracks, fields, weights or boards.
- Narrator: Isn't that cheerleading?
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] How about wrestling?
- Chris: I can't wrestle.
- Greg Wuliger: Anybody can wrestle. It's just two guys on a mat trying to throw each other down.
- Narrator: Or as they call it in Chelsea: "Wednesday."
- Julius: [to Rochelle] I work two jobs and you let me leave the house with nothing on my stomach but a fish juice shake?
- Narrator: Not cool unless your husband's a shark.
- Julius: If this is how you do when you're trying to get skinny, I'd rather have you fat.
- Narrator: That's what Kirstie Alley's man said to her.