Chuck (TV Series)

Chuck Versus the Fat Lady (2008)

Zachary Levi: Chuck Bartowski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chuck Bartowski : Wait. So not only did we *not* get the Fulcrum list, but Jill's never gonna speak to me again because she caught me naked rinsing off fruit punch with another woman?

  John Casey : Common spy problem.

  Chuck Bartowski : [sarcastically]  Really?

• Sarah Walker : [Chuck's stuck in the airvent]  What are you doing up there?

  Chuck Bartowski : Help!

  [Falls to the floor] 

  John Casey : Shh! It's the F.B.I, they're dumb, not deaf.

  Chuck Bartowski : Thanks.

• Chuck Bartowski : The running, jumping, shooting people part of the job, that's all *you* guys. But the puzzles, that's all me.

• John Casey : You're a government asset, Chuck. Sometimes, your personal life has to take a backseat.

  Chuck Bartowski : We tried the back seat, you have a camera in the car too! Come on, how many... how many second chances do you get with the one who got away? Plus she already knows I'm a... you know.

  John Casey : I'm not even interested in my *own* feelings, Bartowski. Keep your mind on the mission. We leave in ten.

• Dr. Jill Roberts : You're going to a hotel tonight with your cover girlfriend?

  Chuck Bartowski : Well, uh, you know, I mean... if it's any comfort, overnight missions usually involve Casey and a whole lot of firearms.

• Chuck Bartowski : Where's a pitch pipe when you need one?

  [Casey sings the note] 

  Chuck Bartowski : Hey! What?

  John Casey : Choir boy. What? I wasn't hatched.

• Fulcrum agent : I still have the advantage. Somebody give me the list or I shoot Chuck.

  [points his weapon at Chuck] 

  John Casey : Yeah, go ahead and shoot him.

  [pulls out another weapon and points it at Chuck] 

  John Casey : You know, I was thinking about shooting him myself.

  Chuck Bartowski : That's great- Why?- Why would- *What*? Are you *crazy*? How about - How about *nobody* shoots Chuck?

  John Casey : I'm not Sarah, Chuck! Give him the list, I will end you miserable existence!

• Chuck Bartowski : Can you cover me?

  Morgan Grimes : Of course I can cover for you, man, because we're best friends and that's what best friends do. They lie for each other. But they don't lie to each other, that's all.

• Chuck Bartowski : [Talking about the substance testing machine John is using to see what sprayed Chuck and Sarah]  How long does this thing take?

  [Turns to Sarah] 

  Chuck Bartowski : How-how does Jill pick that exact moment to walk in on us? I mean, what-what-what are the odds?

  [Looks back at Casey] 

  Chuck Bartowski : Does-does this, does this give us the antidote? Because I think I feel my throat is closing up on me right now.

  [Machine beeps, John looks at Chuck] 

  Chuck Bartowski : What is it? What is it, flesh eating bacteria or anthrax? Am I gonna die?

  John Casey : [John licks some of the 'poison' off his finger]  Nope. But you can add ice and give it to little kids to sell on street corners.

  Chuck Bartowski : I knew it.

  [Looks at Sarah] 

  Chuck Bartowski : Drugs.

  John Casey : It's powdered fruit punch, dumb ass.

• Chuck Bartowski : Q-36 game copier. Thankfully, Morgan is too cheap and unethical to pay for his own video game entertainment. Canada's greatest gift since Shania Twain.