Rock Monster (2008 TV Movie)

Chad Michael Collins: Jason

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jason : Let her go, Dimitar. This is between you and me.

  Dimitar : [pointing to the rock monster]  No - this is between you... and him.

• Jason : Let Cassandra go and you can do whatever you want to me.

  Dimitar : Tempting, Jason, but you're not my type.

• Toni : If I have to listen to Warren bitch about his kidneys being jostled by the bus or his feet swelling up from walking or his allergies acting up from the trees, I am going to hurt him - badly!

  Jason : Have you ever taken a deep, dark look at yourself, your hostility towards the opposite sex? Are you sure you're not into... girls?

  Toni : Oh, you wish.

• [Warren cuts himself on a rusty sword] 

  Jason : How bad is it?

  Warren : It bloody hurts! I'm going to get lockjaw, aren't I?

  Toni : Pah! We can only hope.

  [Jason glares at her] 

  Toni : What? I just think it would be a nice reprieve from his constant prattling.

• Dimitar : My people are simple and superstitious, but they are loyal once you get to know them.

  Jason : I'm not sure I want to!

• [the boys admire the lovely Cassandra] 

  Benny : Dude - she's a ten!

  Warren : Eleven.

  Jason : *Twelve.*

  Toni : Congratulations, boys, you can count.

• Cassandra : Are you all Americans? I love America! I've seen every American movie since 1984. I read every American newspaper and magazine I can find.

  Jason : Wow, that's great! I'm an American and so are my friends - except for Warren. He's British.

  Warren : It's not my fault.

• Jason : I need a weapon.

  The Colonel : You have one.

  Jason : But you don't expect me to fight with this, do you?

  The Colonel : You have a sword. You learn how to use it.

  Jason : It's just a sword!

  The Colonel : No, it is not just a sword. That sword killed the monster once and it can do it again. Study it. Learn how it works and we will all be saved. Now hurry!

• Jason : I'm nobody's hero, Cassandra. This is not my destiny. I'm just a college student. I go to Cal Poly. I've been going there for seven years; I've had ten majors. I only came to this place to claim a free house.

• Jason : Hey, Benny, what was your major, anyway?

  Benny : Quantum physics - string theory.

  Jason : [to himself]  String theory? Benny? More like G-string theory.

• The Colonel : Dimitar has warned that the creature will come back and kill every living song in Ivanova until he has the sword... and you are dead.

  Jason : He's really starting to get on my nerves.

• Dimitar : At dawn the sun shall shine through the sword and connect me and the creature in a bond of pure energy. The creature's spirit - the spirit of the omnipotent wizard Allas - shall be transferred to me and I shall become the most powerful man that has ever walked the earth... and I shall walk the earth for a thousand years!

  Jason : Sounds like a party... I'll bring the beer.

• Dimitar : I'll kill you!

  [Jason rams his sword through Dimitar's chest] 

  Jason : You first.