- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] When you first start dating someone, or kinda dating someone, communication is key, but just like in baseball where every play depends on clear signals, one missed sign can cost you the game.
- Mike Callahan: Well, listen, if you're not gonna ask her out, then I am definitely gonna ask her out. Wow.
- Kenny Morittori: Uh, you wanna just finish my beer for me, too?
- Kenny Morittori: I actually... I, uh... I mean, I might ask her out.
- Mike Callahan: Seriously?
- Kenny Morittori: I'm thinking about it.
- Mike Callahan: You should wait longer till, maybe, she has a husband and a couple of kids. See how that works out.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Sometimes you get a signal and you have absolutely no idea what it means, leaving you to wonder, "Am I missing a page from the playbook?"
- Stephanie Layne: [having discovered match.com] And I have my eye on this pair of doctors that I think would look really cute on me.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] In baseball, a tug on the ear could mean "hit and run," a swipe on the arm "steal second base," but you always gotta be careful because sometimes a scratch on the nose is just a scratch on the nose.
- Bobby Newman: Okay, I thought I was clear on the hamburgers. I mean, I got a little lost around the grilled cheese part, but I definitely... don't know what we're talking about NOW.
- Mike Callahan: You work so slow, she thinks your name is Jerry.
- Kenny Morittori: You're making that up.
- Mike Callahan: No, I'm not, Jer.
- Andy Franklin: Kenny, the statute of limitations on Kate is up.
- Kenny Morittori: [to Mike] What, you got this guy working for you now?
- Mike Callahan: He's my attorney.
- Andy Franklin: You can't keep my client from asking out a girl you have NOT been nor are currently pursuing.
- Kenny Morittori: Ah, but I HAVE pursued her.
- Andy Franklin: Having coffee with a girl does not constitute an actual date, Jer.
- Mike Callahan: Yeah, and... and having coffee with a girl a second time is really just a way of saying, "I'm a wuss."
- Andy Franklin: And her way of saying, "We're just gonna be friends, wuss."
- Kenny Morittori: Well, how would you know? You've ben married for, like, a hundred years.
- Andy Franklin: Which is why I'm able to sit high on my marital perch and look down, unsullied, and rule on all I see.
- Mike Callahan: Kenny, I am trying to help you, okay? Just consider this a coffee intervention.
- Kenny Morittori: What is wrong with takin' a girl out for a cup of coffee?
- Mike Callahan: Dude, when you're tryin' to pick up a girl, the last thing you want her to be is alert and focused.
- Kenny Morittori: Yeah, I'm not trying to make a dress out of her. I'm trying to get to know her.
- Mike Callahan: I'm not telling you to pick her up in a van with no inside door handle, but it doesn't hurt to get her a little liquored up.
- Kenny Morittori: Okay, Silence of the Lambs. You got your style; I got mine.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Sometimes players can be so in sync, it's like they don't need signs. They just know what each other is thinking instinctively. And when you play with the same guys long enough, you get so comfortable that you really know their strengths and weaknesses, and it makes playing the game so much easier.