It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass (2006)
Kaitlin Olson: Dee Reynolds
Quotes
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Dennis Reynolds : If you don't like smoke, then don't come into the bar.
Charlie Kelly : I *work* in this bar. I work here.
Dennis Reynolds : But that's because you have the freedom to choose to work here, okay? Smoking bans, they don't protect freedom, they strip it away from smokers
Frank Reynolds : Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee Reynolds : You went to Vietnam in *1993* to open up a sweatshop!
Frank Reynolds : And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop.
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Dennis Reynolds : If Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face.
Charlie Kelly : You gotta be... you don't know shit about the Constitution, man.
Mac : Uh, he knows more than you two un-American freedom haters.
Dennis Reynolds : Thank you.
Dee Reynolds : Oh, Charlie, we hate freedom. Eww, we hate it.
Dennis Reynolds : You hate it.
Charlie Kelly : Oh, *I'm* un-American?
Frank Reynolds : You're practically a Viet Cong.
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Dee Reynolds : So, Artemis, the last time we talked I know things got a little weird, with you licking my brother's face and all. But I need your help with an acting gig, my friend is really dragging me down.
Artemis : What's the venue?
Dee Reynolds : A sidewalk.
Artemis : I don't do sidewalks.
Dee Reynolds : That's what I thought. But if you think about it, it's the only true form of artistic expression.
Artemis : Is there any nudity involved?
Dee Reynolds : No.
Artemis : Can there be?
Dee Reynolds : No
Artemis : I'll do it anyways.
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Mac : Well, then, what would you say?
Dennis Reynolds : She's a quitter.
Dee Reynolds : You know what, I don't even care! I don't care.
Dennis Reynolds : And that proves my point. Because you don't care, you never succeed.
Mac : Right. Failed.
Dennis Reynolds : Failure implies that she actually *tried* to be an actor.
Dee Reynolds : Okay, I did try, it just didn't happen to work out.
Frank Reynolds : It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.
Dee Reynolds : Wow, thank you! That's my dad, everybody.
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Charlie Kelly : You wanna talk America? You wanna learn a little something about America? Dee, let's roll out of here.
Dee Reynolds : Where are we going?
Charlie Kelly : We're gonna go America all over their asses!
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Dee Reynolds : I am not a failure!
Mac : Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis Reynolds : Uh, that would in fact be a failure.
Mac : Dee is a failure.
