Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

The Giant Spider Invasion (1997)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Dan Kester goes to the refrigerator] 

  Crow T. Robot : Want a piece of milk?

• Sheriff : [on the phone]  No, ma'am, I don't have the number.

  Tom Servo : Take your time, movie.

  Sheriff : All I can tell you is, use the Yellow Pages. Let your fingers do the walking!

  [laughs] 

  Crow T. Robot : Not a joke, but an incredible simulation.

• Crow : "Dark? It's not dark," Rebane declared.

  Tom Servo : Visuals? For a movie? Who needs them?

• Crow : [fake-laughing]  It's always funny when you turn down tea, then you decide you want tea!

• Crow T. Robot : A showered person, thank God...

• Crow T. Robot : Moses, move the bike!

• [watching Dan Kester] 

  Mike Nelson : Johnny Crappleseed.

  Crow : Paul Infected Bunyan.

  Tom Servo : Old McDonald had a cyst.

• [watching the giant spider dissolve into a gloppy mess] 

  Mike Nelson : Ew, the spider needs a Zantac.

  Tom Servo : Alan Hale digests a kielbasa.

  Crow : "It Came from Planet Gross-Out."

• Mike Nelson : [as Dan Kester chases Teri out of the room in his filthy long johns]  And the movie just ramps up the repulsion.

  Crow : This movie hates us doesn't it?

• Crow : [as an asteroid shaped like a sperm approaches Earth]  I hope Earth has its diaphragm on.

• Crow T. Robot : Packers fans... the horrible truth

• Crow : [Groan]  Oh he's lactating...