Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

Q-Less (1993)

Jennifer Hetrick: Vash

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vash : It's over, Q, I want you out of my life. You're arrogant, you're overbearing and you think you know everything.

  Q : But... I do know everything.

  Vash : That makes it even worse.

• Q : An abysmal place.

  Vash : Tartaras V?

  Q : Earth. Oh, don't get me wrong. Thousand years ago it had character - Crusades, Spanish Inquisition, Watergate... Now it's just mind-numbingly dull.

• Vash : You are the one who almost got me killed on Errikang VII, and they weren't exactly thrilled to see you on Brax either. What did they call you, 'the God of Lies'?

  Q : They meant it affectionately.

• Q : [mockingly]  The eminent Vash! Barred from the Royal Museum of Epsilon Hydra VII. Persona non grata on Betazed. Wanted dead on Miridon for stealing the crown of the First Mother.

  Vash : Dead or *alive*!

  Q : *Preferably* dead!

• Doctor Bashir : [examining Vash]  Well, um... no sign of disease or malnutrition... or parasitic infections.

  Vash : You sound disappointed.

  Doctor Bashir : I am. Now I've no reason to keep you here.

• [Vash is massaging Quark's ears over a business deal] 

  Quark : I'll not be distracted by your feminine wiles. I demand 40%... All right, 30.

  Vash : What magnificent cartilage.

  Quark : [as though his heart is going to burst with pleasure]  22, and don't stop!

• Quark : [of his select clientèle]  I don't care about their manners. The important thing is, they're honest collectors of antiquities, every one.

  Vash : How honest?

  Quark : As honest as you and I.

  Vash : Then we'd better keep a close eye on them.

• [Vash and Quark's first encounter; Quark offers Vash to sell her artifacts in auction] 

  Vash : I'll only accept payment in gold-pressed latinum.

  Quark : I'll shower you in it, fifty-fifty.

  Vash : [smiles coyly]  Mr. Quark, I believe you are trying to take advantage of me.

  [Quark chuckles] 

  Quark : Some wine?

  [He leans over to grab the bottle of wine he brought with him, but Vash grabs him by the ears and begins massaging them. Quark begins gasping and moaning with pleasure] 

  Quark : [aroused]  You've... got a real talent for oo-mox!

  Vash : So I've been told.

  Quark : [he gently tries to pulls her hand away]  I'll not be distracted by your feminine wiles. I demand forty percent.

  [Vash continues massage his ears. Quark goes limp like melted butter in her lap] 

  Quark : Okay... forty percent.

  Vash : What magnificent cartilage!

  Quark : [as though his heart is going to burst with pleasure]  Twenty two and don't stop!

  Vash : You've got a deal!

  [Vash gently pushes a helplessly aroused Quark off of her as she heads to the door. Quark plops on the couch like a de-boned fish, panting heavily from the oo-mox] 

  Vash : [business-like]  I expect you to make all the necessary arrangements.

  Quark : [admiringly; about Vash's business savoir fair]  Oh, You are good... You are very, VERY GOOD!