- The Richmeister: Tragedy befalls the Richman. Hmmm, wonderin' how I died?
- The Grim Reaper: Radiation from the copy machine.
- Weekend Update Anchor: A Saturday Night Live poll indicates if the election were held today, Bill Clinton would receive 57 per cent of the vote, George Bush would receive 53 per cent of the vote and Ross Perot would receive 51 per cent of the vote. This poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 112 per cent.
- The Richmeister: [Randy is dressed as Madonna for Halloween] Madonna! The dirty Bookenator! 50 bucks, too expensive for the Richmeister!
- Adam Sandler: I'm Crazy Newspaper Unicorn Man and I do believe I want some candy! Come on, I'm almost extinct, give me the candy!