Justice League Unlimited (TV Series)

The Once and Future Thing, Part One: Weird Western Tales (2005)

Peter MacNicol: Chronos, David Clinton

Quotes 

• David Clinton : He keeps me here to show him out how to work the stuff he can't figure out for himself.

  Bartholomew Aloysius Lash : Which I'd suspect is most of it, what with him being so mule-stupid and all.

• Enid Clinton : Let me get this straight: you've got a suit that lets you travel in time and you've been using it to steal historical trash? You stupid little man! You could go back and steal gold and jewels. You could get stock information from the future. We could be rich.

  David Clinton : No! We can't use the suit to do anything that could change history. I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.

  Enid Clinton : Like your spine?

  David Clinton : Enid, please. Don't talk to me like that. I love...

  Enid Clinton : Mother was right. I should've married Jim Dorman. He's a very successful lawyer, and you *are* a loser. Always were, always will be.

  David Clinton : But...

  Enid Clinton : You worthless, good-for-nothing, wretched waste of space! YOU INVENT A TIME MACHINE AND CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT?

  David Clinton : I can think of one thing.

  [opening a portal] 

  David Clinton : I can use it to get away from you!

• Green Lantern : [breaking Bat Lash out of jail]  I'm John. These are my friends Diana and, uh...

  Bruce Wayne : Bruce.

  Green Lantern : We're lawmen looking to bring a criminal to justice.

  Princess Diana : You may have seen him. He's got amazing machines. We think the man who put you in here works for him.

  David Clinton : Not quite, Wonder Woman.

  Princess Diana : How do you know who I am?

  Bruce Wayne : Because he's the man we're looking for.

  David Clinton : David Clinton, inventor of the chrono-suit, at your disposal.

  Green Lantern : You tried to steal Batman's utility belt.

  David Clinton : And you chased me, but time tunnels are somewhat counter-intuitive. Even though you were only seconds behind me, I arrived here nearly six months before you did.

  Bruce Wayne : Where's your time travel device?

  David Clinton : Now, that's a story. As soon as I got here, I was robbed.

  Princess Diana : By Tobias Manning.

  David Clinton : Yes, ma'am. He took my suit and used it to take over this town. He keeps taking trips to the future and coming back with stolen technology.

• David Clinton : That's not going to work. I tried it. Yeah, those bars are cheap pig iron, but they're plenty strong enough to hold. At least until morning when they come to hang you.

  Bat Lash : Do you mind? I'm trying to plan an escape over here.

  David Clinton : How's it going so far?

  Bat Lash : I'm working on it.

• Enid Clinton : Come on out, David. I know you're here.

  David Clinton : Oh. Hello, dear. I was just cataloging some of my collection.

  Enid Clinton : Collection? Pfft. Bunch of junk.

  David Clinton : It's not junk. This comb belonged to Cleopatra. And this, this is an actual early draft of the Magna Carta. And this...

  Enid Clinton : Right. Like you could afford these things on a physics professor's salary. We can't even afford the new car I want.

  David Clinton : I-I didn't buy them, Enid. I sort of... took them.

  Enid Clinton : You robbed a museum? Is that why you're wearing that goofy catsuit?

  David Clinton : Well, sort of. Not exactly. Remember last summer when I didn't get tenure?

  Enid Clinton : Yeah. They thought you were crazy because you kept insisting you were on the verge of discovering... time travel.

  David Clinton : It's my chrono-suit. I've had it working for months. I've been using it to gather treasures for my collection. And you said I was a loser.