Homicide: Life on the Street (TV Series)

A Many Splendored Thing (1994)

Richard Belzer: Detective John Munch

Quotes 

• John Munch : Where's my old Stanley?

  Al Giardello : Oh my god...

  John Munch : I can't wake up in the morning, I can't face the day unless I know he's gonna be more miserable than me! The whole world's outta whack, G! You gotta do something!

  Al Giardello : Like what?

  John Munch : Order him to be miserable again!

  Al Giardello : Aw, stop it...

  John Munch : Look Boss, it's for his own good, it's a safety issue, the guy's DANCING IN TRAFFIC... there's gotta be something in the books to forbid happiness... it's UNPROFESSIONAL!

• John Munch : [Depressed about breaking up with his girlfriend, upon hearing that a murdered homeless couple had been using heavy-duty heart medications]  ... Are you sure there's nothing left in those prescription bottles...?

• John Munch : Linda... it is Linda, isn't it?

  Linda : [laughs]  Yes!

  John Munch : ...You're a very nice person... and obviously you're capable of the impossible by making Stanley happy. Your homespun stories don't play with me, I'm a homicide cop. Nothing surprises me!

  Linda : Nothing?

  John Munch : Absolutely nothing!

  [suddenly numerous rainbow-coloured fireworks go off, sparkling in the air, startling him] 

  John Munch : What the HELL was that?

  Linda : [laughs]  I don't know... your heart, maybe?

  Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : [walks over]  WOW! Look at that!

  John Munch : [laughs nervously]  Yeah, look at that...

  Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : Wow, god!

  John Munch : [suddenly seeming more cheerful]  ... You know, Stanley... this woman, you gotta respect her. Why she goes out with you, I'll never know. As far as I'm concerned, your great fortune lies right there in the mysteries of life, right alongside the whereabouts of the lost tribes of Israel, and the meaning of the lyrics to 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'.

  [Linda laughs] 

  John Munch : I think I'll go look for a couple of those lost tribes right now...

  [walks away] 

  Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : I'm sorry 'bout him...

  Linda : Oh, he's alright, Stan... you just don't understand him at all, do you?

  Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : Nope, I don't... but then again, I don't need to.

  [Linda laughs and she and Bolander gaze at the fireworks in awe] 

• John Munch : The closest I want to get to nature is that show on P.B.S!

• Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : [Stan and Linda are gracefully humming a cello song, when suddenly Munch creeps up to them out of nowhere and starts singing loud, off-key notes]  Every fairy tale has its nightmare, and this is mine.

  John Munch : [gloomy]  It's Festivus to you, pal.

• Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : [livid]  Munch, if you don't shut up, and shut up fast, I'll GUT you!

  John Munch : [oblivious to Stan's threat]  The truth hurts, doesn't it, Stan?