- Maxwell Smart: This is the strangest island that I've even been on. There's absolutely nothing to eat. I've been up in those trees for hours. There's no coconuts, no bananas.
- 99: What about fish?
- Maxwell Smart: There's no fish up there either.
- Maxwell Smart: 99, these footprints were made by a man six feet two and a half inches tall, two hundred and twenty four and a quarter pounds, blond hair, blue eyes, a scar on his left cheek and walked with a decided limp.
- 99: Now Max, that's very hard to believe.
- Maxwell Smart: Would you believe it if I took out the limp?
- Maxwell Smart: What is it, Max?
- 99: Well, either it's the biggest magnet in the world or it's the biggest horsshoe in the world. And if it's the biggest horseshoe, I'd hate to see the horse.
- 99: [stuck in synthetic sand] Oh, we're never gonna get out of here alive, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: I know it, 99, I just wish Bannister were here.
- 99: Who's Bannister?
- Chief: Control's top agent.
- 99: Why do you wish he were was here, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: I don't like him.
- 99: How can you move around an island this size?
- Siegfried: I don't suppose you've seen the back of this island, have you?
- Maxwell Smart: No, why?
- Siegfried: We have the biggest outboard motor you ever saw!
- Starker: The biggest!
- [imitates motor sound]
- Siegfried: Starker! This is KAOS! We don't
- [imitates sound]
- Siegfried: here!