Does the director of Single White Female 2 have an underwear fetish? Every five minutes there seemed to be a scene with a sexy woman walking around in her lingerie. I counted about six different colours too! Victoria's Secrets must have bankrolled the film for product placement. Not just that, but he takes every opportunity to show these nubile young things bending down or standing at an angle to get the highest ratio of cleavage. Yet, when it comes to delivering the goods, by delivering the whole boob experience, he chickens out and instead gives us a selection of body doubles or back shots. The only nude scenes in the entire movie are in a club for perverts, as tied-up extra get whipped, violated or abused in other ways. Nice.
What? You wonder why a spent a whole paragraph discussing the finer points of on-screen nakedness? Because it's a distraction from having to write about the rest of the film. If you've seen the original, you'd think this has a similar plot: A nice, normal girl is going to move in with a deranged lady (The clue's in the title) who slowly takes over her flatmate's life, while simultaneously slaughtering her new flatmate's friends one by one. Correct, but with just one exception. The nice girl in part II is not a very nice person. In fact, she's downright despicable. She lies to her friends, she breaks personal belongings then denies it, she unlocks boxes containing cherished possessions to have a look inside, and yes, she is a total bitch. Any right minded person would love to see her get a comeuppance. Bridget Fonda she ain't.
So, besides her and the mad, pensioner-murdering, nurse roomie, is there anybody else in this cocktail of bad acting and materialistic values to root for? Well, there's the main protagonist's slutty best friend who seems to be an exact copy of her dreadful mate.. only difference is one's a redhead, the other's locks are black. They work at a PR firm together, and their competitiveness in being the first to get a promotion is completely boring to everyone at home. Then there's the dopey hunk of a boyfriend who comes between these two bimbos.. he leaves so little impression in the picture he might as well stand there in his striped boxer shorts scratching his butt while the gals fight it out. If anyone looks like they just wondered in from a GAP ad, it's him. I DID enjoy the performance of the girl's boss at the company, sadly his acerbic wit only livens up a handful of scenes.. then it's back to the bitchiness and general air of tedium that set the tone for the rest of the movie.
Not only are 95% of the people featured here incredibly irritating, they are also extremely stupid. Why is there blood on the floor? Why, the workman cut his hand while trying to fix something and he's just gone to the hospital! Of course I believe you! Next, I think I'll drink this wine given to me by someone I suspect is borderline insane. Is it drugged? Certainly not!! Then, we have the big treasure chest which conveniently contains news clippings about every victim the villianess has ever murdered, as well as her life history, discovered by the 'heroine'. So much for covering up the evidence. The class of serial killers just ain't wot it used to be. Still, at least this gives audience members who haven't been watching for the last hour a chance to catch up with the storyline. Oh and yes, I am being sarcastic. DUH!
Finally, we have the predictable HUGE CLIMAX between the two women, though why anybody would bother to cut the main phone line so the other party can't summon help with the surfeit of mobiles in America in 2005 is a mystery to me. It works, though. Strange, that she's had her Nokia with her in every scene other than that one. Much hysterical shrieking, pseudo-lesbianism and gratuitous throat slashing of black police officers ensues, until finally the torture is over and we can all go home. And no, I don't means the torment endured by the local constabulary at knife-point. Straight To DVD should have meant Straight To The Bin in this case. YUCK! 2/10
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