The Producers (2005)
Will Ferrell: Franz Liebkind
Photos
Quotes
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Franz Liebkind : Stand still! How can I shoot you if you keep moving!
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Leo Bloom : Elizabeth?
Franz Liebkind : Ja. Not many people know this, but the fuhrer was descended from a long line of English queens.
Max Bialystock : [after a long pause] Is that right?
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Franz Liebkind : The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy! The Fuhrer was BUTCH!
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Franz Liebkind : Ze penalty for braking ze Siegfried Oath is DESS!
Max Bialystock : Dess? Is that anything like death?
Franz Liebkind : YETH!
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Franz Liebkind : I was never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on. We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yoodle le he hoo
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Franz Liebkind : You know, not many people know zis, but der F¸hrer was a terrific dancer.
Max Bialystock : Really? Gee, we didn't know that, did we, Leo?
Leo Bloom : No, we sure didn't.
Franz Liebkind : THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE TAKEN IN BY THE BBC! Filthy British lies! But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill? CHURCHILL!
[gags]
Franz Liebkind : With his cigars, and his brandy, and his ROTTEN paintings! ROTTEN! Hitler, there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two coats!
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Franz Liebkind : [at end of credits] Don't forget to buy "Mein Kampf" in paper back. Avaliable near you... at Borders Books... or Barnes and Noble... und Amazon.com
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Franz Liebkind : [while waving a gun around] You made a fool of Hitler!
Carmen Ghia , Roger De Bris : [Carmen and Roger peer over the couch where they are hiding] He didn't need our help.
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Franz Liebkind : You sniveling cowards! Cringing under a desk. Clinging on for life like baby butterflies. Franz Liebkind will show you how to die like a man!
Franz Liebkind : [points gun to his own head and attempts to kill himself but is unsuccessful] Yada. Mmm yada! Boy, when things go wrong!
[he throws the gun onto the couch and a bullet shoots out]
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Franz Liebkind : [making Max and Leo take the Siegfried Oath] All right. First you will raise your right forefingers, und repeat after me.
[they do]
Franz Liebkind : I solemnly svear...
Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock : [holding up their forefingers] I solemnly svear...
Franz Liebkind : To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...
Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock : To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...
Franz Liebkind : Und!
Max Bialystock : [switching to his Middle Finger] Und!
Leo Bloom : [switching to his Middle Finger] Und!
Franz Liebkind : [wagging his finger] Never, Never, Never!
Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock : [flipping Franz off] Never, Never, Never
Franz Liebkind : Dishoner ze spirit und ze memory of Adolph Elizabeth Hitler
Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock : Dishonor the spirit und ze... Elizabeth?
Franz Liebkind : Jah. Dat vas his middle name. Not many people know zis, but der F¸hrer vas descended from a long line of English qveens.
[long pause]
Max Bialystock : Is that right?
Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock : [shrugging] Adolph ELIZABETH Hitler.
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[With one leg already broken Franz Liebkind falls down the stairs]
Officer O'Rourke : [Calling down the stairs] What happened?
Franz Liebkind : I broke... the other leg!
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Franz Liebkind : I must tell my birds!
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Franz Liebkind : That is not how you sing Haben Sie geh^rt das Deutsche band! This is how you sing Haben Sie geh^rt das Deutsche band!
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Franz Liebkind : This is no good. I'm not killing anybody. YOU MUST CO OPERATE!
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Leo Bloom , Max Bialystock , Carmen Ghia , Roger De Bris : Break a leg!
[CRASH!]
Max Bialystock : Franz, what happened?
Franz Liebkind : I broke my leg!
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Franz Liebkind : [at end of credits] Don"t forget to buy "Mein Kampf" in paper back. At Borders Books or Barnes and Knoble, or Amazon.com
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Franz Liebkind : Hilda, where are you going? Argentina's that way!
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Franz Liebkind : Broadway! I haven't been so happy since we crushed Poland!
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Max Bialystock : [patting Franz comfortingly] There, there.
Franz Liebkind : Where? Where?
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Max Bialystock : Franz Liebkind?
Franz Liebkind : I was not a member of the Nazi party!
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Franz Liebkind : Nein.
Max Bialystock : Nein?
Franz Liebkind : No.
Max Bialystock : That's what nein means.
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[preparing to perform "The Guten Tag Hop-Clop"]
Franz Liebkind : First, you must roll up your pants.
Max Bialystock : Okay.
[He and Leo begin to roll up their pant legs]
Franz Liebkind : Rolling?
Max Bialystock : Rolling.
Franz Liebkind : Rolling?
Max Bialystock : Rolling.
Franz Liebkind : Come on, don't be stingy! Show some LEG!
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Max Bialystock : Franz Liebkind?
[Franz slams his back against the pigeon roost]
Franz Liebkind : [yells] I vaz never a member of the Nazi party! I had nossing to do vith the var! I didn't even know there vas a var on! Vee lived in zee back... near Svitzerland! All vee ever heard vas yodeling!
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[Max and Leo have just left after agreeing to produce Franz's play]
Franz Liebkind : Vatt nice guys! Oh... Broadvay! I haven't been zis happy since vee crushed Poland!
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Franz Liebkind : [sung] Guten Tag clap clap / Guten Tag slap slap.