Guess Who (2005)
Bernie Mac: Percy Jones
Photos
Quotes
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Percy : I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter - you're sleeping with me now.
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Howard Jones : You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass!
Percy : Casper.
Howard Jones : Cracker.
Percy : Ofay.
Howard Jones : Peckerwood.
Percy : Wonder bread.
Howard Jones : Bird shit.
Percy : Bird shit?
Howard Jones : Well, it's almost white.
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Percy : If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green : She's right?
Percy : That's right.
Simon Green : Always?
Percy : Right.
Simon Green : Right.
Percy : That's right.
Simon Green : All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy : Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
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Theresa : I was just showing Simon around the house.
Simon Green : You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones.
Marilyn : Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn.
Simon Green : You too, Mr. Jones.
Percy : Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones.
[Marilyn gives him a dirty look]
Percy : Just kidding.
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Percy : Hi. Reservation for Percy Jones.
Polly : And that's Jones with a "J"?
Percy : No, Jones with a "P". I made the reservation last week.
Simon Green : You knew you were gonna kick me out a week ago?
Percy : Son, I knew I was gonna kick you out 24 years ago... when the doctor announced it was a girl.
Polly : Here you are.
Percy : Good.
Polly : We gave your room away.
Percy : What?
Polly : Check in was at 4:00.
Percy : It's Thursday night. I'm quite sure you've got another room available.
Polly : I'm sorry. We're completely booked, and so is everyone else. There's a Shriners convention in town, actually. May help you with anything else Mr. Pjones?
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Keisha Jones : Theresa's boyfriend is white.
Percy : I know.
Keisha Jones : Oh, I know you know. I just wanted to see your face when you heard it again.
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[Percy is informed that Simon, his daughter's boyfriend, is the white guy and not the black guy, he thought was Simon]
Percy Jones : Well who are you?
The Cab Driver : Wesley Thompson, that's my cab. But if you're still down with me making your daughter happy... I'm good to go!
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Howard Jones : You didn't tell me he was white!
Percy : Yes, I did, back at the retirement home.
Howard Jones : I thought you was kidding.