Saving Silverman (2001)
Amanda Peet: Judith
Photos
Quotes
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[after Wayne, Sandy, and Neil Diamond crashed and ruined Judith's wedding by getting Darren back with Sandy, Judith becomes enraged with anger by walking towards Wayne and smacks him with a chair]
Judith : [screaming] YOU RUINED MY LIFE!
Wayne : [Judith pulls Wayne's legs] Ah! But I saved Darren's!
Judith : Just because I lost Darren doesn't mean I'm crazy enough to hook up with YOU!
[Wayne yells and screams while throwing Judith to the aisle]
Wayne : Hey! Why can't you just admit that when you kissed me you liked it?
Judith : Yeah, you're right. I have a weakness for incompotent morons.
[Judith smacks Wayne in the mouth and one of his teeth come out his lips. Then Wayne does the same thing and Judith spits out the loose tooth]
Wayne : [choking each other] Admit it! Aah! I'm the strong-willed, assertive man that you need and you're the hardcore bitch I've always dreamed of!
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Judith : Have you ever had a girlfriend?
J.D. : Yes... No!
Judith : Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?
J.D. : Which man?
Judith : Any man!
J.D. : You mean like a tall man?
Judith : Sure, whatever!
J.D. : 'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me!
Judith : What about a short man?
J.D. : How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets!
Judith : Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
J.D. : Does that include celebrities?
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Judith : It took balls. Big balls.
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[In the garage of his house, Wayne is chaining up Judith after she escaped]
Wayne : [Finishes] There. That should keep you from escaping again. And this...
[pulls out a Catcher's mask]
Wayne : this...
[puts the mask on Judith's face]
Wayne : this should keep you from biting.
Judith : How am I gonna eat?
Wayne : I've thought of that.
[Wayne shows Judith a jar filled with breakfast mash and a straw]
Judith : What is that?
Wayne : It's breakfast. Pancakes, sausage, uh, hash brown, pop tart, pureed.
Judith : [disgusted] I'm not eating that shit. I want a Big Montana.
Wayne : A what?
Judith : A Big Montana from Arby's with curly fries.
Wayne : No, I'm not gonna get you one. If you don't wanna eat what I've made for you, then you can starve.
Judith : [freaks out] Why are you doing this?
Wayne : It's the only way to save our friendship.
Judith : [calms down] It doesn't seem like a friendship to me. It seems like you're in love with Darren.
Wayne : Bullshit!
[chuckles]
Wayne : I am so un-gay.
Judith : Okay, fine. Let's pretend for a second that you're straight. When the last time you've got any?
Wayne : That's none of your business.
Judith : So it's been years?
Wayne : I'm waiting for the right woman.
Judith : There is no right woman for you, Wayne. If my guess is, if there ever was, you've already met her and she's either killed herself or become a lesbian.
Wayne : [yells] Up yours!
Judith : Go to hell!
Wayne : Skank!
Judith : Eunuch!
Wayne : [screams] Stealer... of my FRIEND!
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[Wayne and JD have tried to convince Judith to leave Darren, unsuccessfully]
Judith : He's my puppet now. And I'm the puppet master.