Photos
Quotes
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Jane Spencer : [at marriage counselling] You came highly recommended by our last therapist.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Yes, I was sorry to hear about his suicide.
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Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : You know, I feel it's important to get off on the right foot and not get caught up in blame. Now, which one of you is impotent?
Jane Spencer : Uh, that would be him.
Frank Drebin : Why don't you ask who's frigid?
Jane Spencer : Uh, that would be him also.
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Jane Spencer : He has no idea what a woman wants or needs. You're so insensitive.
Frank Drebin : This isn't that the toilet seat thing again, is it?
Jane Spencer : It's babies, Frank! I want to have a baby. And every time we start to make love, you have a headache.
Frank Drebin : I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying. I've got ointments, lotions, creams, books, things that vibrate.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : Well, maybe it's your fault.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Have you tried sexy lingerie? Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
Frank Drebin : I've worn them all. They don't work.
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Jane Spencer : Oh, honey, it's just that I love you so much.
Frank Drebin : My little lover sparrow.
Jane Spencer : My puppy-wuppy wover.
Frank Drebin : My little love biscuit.
Jane Spencer : My little shnooky-wookums.
Frank Drebin : My little lady cheesy puppy.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Mr and Mrs Drebin, please. I'm diabetic. I think you two ought to go now.
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Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest. Make tonight a *special* night. Dinner, wine, romantic music. Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis station. Just be Jane and Frank - lovers.
Jane Spencer : We haven't had a night like that in a long time.
Frank Drebin : Not together.