- The Pope: [as Carmelengo is lowering the triple crown onto his head] You've got the wrong guy!
- Carmelengo: They all say that.
- Vittorio Corelli: Naturally the first thing I want to know is, why our trusted silver haired friend Father Albini is not at this moment cultivating our long term business relationship. BY RESTING HIS ASS ON THE VATICAN THRONE.
- US News Reporter: [broadcasting from St Peter's Square] The Pope's dead, and that's the big news story here in Rome today. We're gonna see him get buried, live on CNN right after these messages.
- Vittorio Corelli: I want him to know it was me who killed him. I don't want him to die thinking it was just... bad luck.
- The Pope: You're fired! Defrocked, call it what you like. You're Out!
- Cardinal Rocco: Do you know who I am? I'm Cardinal Rocco, you're lucky you're being fed here!
- Cardinal Rocco: [Dying from gunshot wound] Women!
- [gasp]
- Cardinal Rocco: You can't live with 'em,
- [gasp]
- Cardinal Rocco: and ya...
- [dies]
- The Pope: You're fired, Rocco! Defrocked, excommunicated, call it what you like. You're Out!
- Cardinal Rocco: Do you know who I am? I'm Cardinal Rocco, your lucky you're being fed here!