- Pop: [When Kid is about to go to bed] I wouldn't do that just yet.
- [smack]
- Pop: 'Cause your ass is mine.
- Kid: [music starts] Look, Pop, I can explain...
- Pop: I'll whip that damn high top fade up off ya. I'm sick of your shit. I done worked too hard and too
- [smack]
- Pop: LONG for you to be running over me like you're outta your damn mind. I done walked all across this damn city, got stopped by the
- [smack]
- Pop: GOD-damn law, looking for your monkey ass.
- [Kid: Pop!]
- Pop: All y'all kids over there dancing,
- [smack]
- Pop: doing the grind, and the
- [smack]
- Pop: PEEPIN' and hiding, but I know your ass. You was there, wasn't ya? Wasn't ya? Wasn't ya? WASN'T YA?
- [smack]
- Pop: I'm running the show around here. I'm wearing the pants and the apron, and I'm wearing yo' ass OUT!
- [4 smacks]
- Pop: Whip ya 'till I get sleepy, 'cause I'm wide awoke, 'cause I
- [smack]
- Pop: JUST woke up. You think 'cause you're, you're big and yellow, I'm supposed to be like Mello. Hell
- [smack]
- Pop: NAW! I'll start a fight in an empty
- [smack]
- Pop: ROOM!
- [Kid: Ow!]
- Pop: You can call Child Abusers if you
- [smack]
- Pop: WANT to, but they better not come in here 'cause I'll kick their ass too.
- [3 smacks]
- Pop: I'm gonna give you a whipping from now ON! I'll kick the cowboy shit out of you.
- [horse neigh, gallop, smack]
- Kid: Hey, Pop! Pop!
- Pop: Get your ass to bed. And don't wake up 'till I TELL you to!
- Bilal: Kick your bitch to the curb and let me ride with my equipment! I'm the DJ.
- LaDonna: Bitch? Who you callin' a bitch? Your mama's a sorry bitch.
- Bilal: Hey, my mama ain't no bitch.
- LaDonna: If I'm a bitch, your mama's a bitch.
- Bilal: Hey, I'll kick your ass. I'll fight a girl.
- LaDonna: I know. I heard your ass was beat by a couple.
- Kid: I wish I could come out and play with you tonight, but I'm a little busy... with your girl on my lap.
- George Clinton: [after hitting Stab across the Head] Yeah, I did it, I might cry two tears in a bucket. Fuck it. Let's take it to the stage.
- Mr. Strickland: What's the name of that group? Public Enemy? Public Enema? What the hell's a Public Enema anyway? Hey! Shut up all that damn noise!
- Kid: [when the prisoners were drawing straws to see who gets Kid] Is there any way to stop this?
- Fats: Richard Pryor said that when he was in prison, he kept folks laughing to keep their mind off his booty. Do you know any jokes?
- Kid: I don't know any jokes.
- Fats: Well, you better think of something.
- Kid: What if I can't think of anything?
- Fats: Light's out, party's over, cake's on the griddle, and you're already greased.
- Pop: Ah, I shoulda known you was at this Party, and ya know, with all that Jheri Curl juice you got in your hair, you better not Ever do a crime! The police won't have any problem finding you! "Follow the drip, follow the drip!"
- Pop: I gotta get this fan fixed. It's so hot in here, I could'a sworn I saw the Devil sittin' in the living room.
- Principal: To Stab, after Kid says that Stab called Kid's late mother a "ho": "What on earth would make you call his mother a gardening tool?"
- Bilal: [dancing with a girl] Girl, you're so soft, like my hush-puppies. You're so warm and fluffy, like a butter-milk biscuit. You make me want to squeeze tighter and tighter. Nah, I'm not gonna lie. You make a nigga wanna sing.
- [singing]
- Bilal: Always and fo-evah! Each moment wit you. Is just like a dream to me, AND you, that somehow came true. Ooo...
- Brutus: Hey, Daisy. Heard you got quite a reputation at your school.
- Rock: Sweetest meat around.
- Hatchett: When we get finished, you gonna be even sweeter.
- Brutus: Know what this man did? Tell him, Hatchett.
- Hatchett: l cut a man's heart out.
- Brutus: Check that out. Tell him what you did, Rock.
- Rock: l beat a police sergeant, with his own club.
- Brutus: And didn't run after he did it.
- Rock: Hell, no.
- Kid: What did you do?
- Brutus: [grans Kid by the back of his neck] l used to run a day-care center.
- Zilla: [Kid is trapped inside a worn out Ice box hiding from the Full Force Brothers] Yo Kid, so I guess this is how you got that Ugly Style Fade on top of yo Head.
- Stab: ...and Hey, we hear you a Rapper, so we got a Rap for yo Ass. You're runnin' round Town like a Faggot in Heat, Me and My Boys can't be beat...
- Zilla: ...but where ever you go, we're gonna smell ya like Gas...
- Pee Wee: ...and we're gonna kick your fuckin' A-ass!
- Stab: You got yo silly Ass trapped in the Ice Box...
- Zilla, Stab, Pee Wee: ...with no where to Go-oh!
- Play: That's going to mess with your dating time. That's mating time. And how is it going to look, watching TV with Uncle Fester?
- Kid: It's Uncle Otis.
- Play: Whatever! But Sidney, she has a home. A house, with a rec room. You know what time it is! Go downstairs in that basement, sofa bed, pow! You're in there!
- Cop #2: Wow, would You look at this Kid's Hair... Hey, Eraser-Head, where You going?
- Kid: Why You wanna know?
- Cop #1: HEY, We'll ask the Questions, You answer!
- Kid: Sir!
- Cop #1: He looks Young, You wanna check Him for I.D.?
- Cop #2: We're out of Donuts.
- Cop #1: Oh? Well then, let's go.
- Cop #2: Hey, You watch Yourself, cause "We" are!
- Kid: [after the Cops Drive off] Thank You Cagney, and Lacey.
- Sidney: Do you think my clothes match?
- Sharane: Of coarse you match.
- Sidney: That's the problem. I think I match too much.
- Sharane: I told you not to buy those Garanimal clothes girl. Shopping at K-Mart...
- [laughs]
- Sidney: [smiling] You're dissin' me. Why are you dissin' me?
- Sharane: Girl, you know I'm gonna be asking you to borrow that outfit tomorrow.
- Sharane: Peanut! Fix us a couple glasses of Kool-Aid.
- Peanut: Grape or red?
- Sharane: Red! Geez...
- Uncle Otis: Peanut, fix me some of that Dick Gregory.
- Sidney: [Kid and Sharane are upstairs and Sidney is trying to stop Pop from going up there] Play told me to sit here and make sure nobody goes upstairs... because his parents just got new carpet, right, and um, he don't want nobody with no shit all their shoes... Ooh, did I say shit?
- Pop: You did too say shit. You trying to talk about my shoes?