- Fanny: Just remember ladies. That this is a cabin for respectable women. There will be no talk of pinkies. They're not playthings, you know! They're weapons! Dangerous weapons! Like loaded guns! They can go off when you least expect it!
- Col. Bat Jack Hershey: [on seeing Flash, wearing a woman's dress, being levitated into the air by Meathead the alien] My God, he really *is* a fairy!
- Armand 'Flash' Carducci: Hi, girls. What's happening? My name's Flash, what's yours?
- Nancy: Don't talk to him, Cheryl, he's a dork.
- Armand 'Flash' Carducci: I'm not a dork, I'm Italian!