The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)
Bill Bixby: Russel Donavan
Photos
Quotes
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Celia Bradley : Mr. Donovan, I gotta go.
Russell Donovan : [beat] But you just went.
Celia Bradley : I gotta go again.
Russell Donovan : That's impossible! Go to sleep.
Celia Bradley : I'm gonna have an accident!
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Dusty : Donovan? Yes you, you snake oil salesman! Are you coming out here or am I coming in there?
Russell Donovan : What's the matter, Dusty? Is there some trouble?
Dusty : Yes, there's trouble all right! And you're in it!
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Russell Donovan : [coming to after Dusty knocks him out with a spitoon and sees her coming at him again] Dusty! Dusty! Would you just tell me what's bothering you?!
Dusty : [grabbing Donovan by the jacket] That bed! That great, big, brass bed! If you had no intention of exercising your husbandly prerogatives, why'd you buy that bed?
Russell Donovan : That's it? The *bed*?
Dusty : *Yes*!
Russell Donovan : [holds her hands away from him] The bed happens to be for the kids, Dusty. When the nights are getting colder, they'll need a *warmer* place to sleep. So the brass bed is for the boys, and the smaller bed is for *Celia*!
Dusty : [sweetly] Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, then we could have avoided this little misunderstanding.
[frees her hands and walks through the mess in the bar over to the door where Celia is sitting]
Dusty : [takes her hand] Come along, Celia. This is no place for a lady.
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Homer McCoy : Welcome to Quake City, Donovan. Looks like luck is against you.
Russell Donovan : Well, there's one good thing about luck - it always changes. And I got a feeling mine is just around the corner.
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John Wintle : Donovan! I haven't seen you since, ah...
Russell Donovan : Santa Fe.
John Wintle : Right!
Russell Donovan : When you sold me the Marshal's horse.
John Wintle : Right. I was just funnin', Donovan.
Russell Donovan : The Marshal wasn't amused.
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Donovan : Three 'widdle' kids? Three little swindlers, you mean.
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Dusty : Donovan? I'm sorry I hit you in the head with the spitoon.
Russell Donovan : [smiles] A perfectly logical misunderstanding. And I'm sorry I offered to buy you a drink in the saloon, too.
Dusty : A perfectly logical misunderstanding.
Russell Donovan : Well, I wouldn't make that mistake again.
Dusty : You wouldn't?
Russell Donovan : [steps closer, looks as if he's about to kiss her - then he shakes her hand instead] Good luck, Dusty.
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Clovis : What's that?
Russell Donovan : Salt pork.
[beat]
Russell Donovan : I think.
Clovis : It looks like fat.
Russell Donovan : Well, whatever it, it's dinner.
Clovis : [disgusted] That's dinner?
Russell Donovan : That's dinner!
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Donovan : [Donovan's been trying all day to pawn the orphans off on someone else] Ah, the lady of the house!
Mrs. Stockley : [drops her empty gin bottle and it shatters] Kids, yick!
Donovan : The children are marvelous about parties. They love parties themselves!
Mrs. Stockley : [to her husband as she drags him back inside and starts to close the door on him] Come on!
Donovan : If you'd just take one small look...
[she slams the door]
Bobby : Who was that?
Donovan : [flatly] That was the president of the garden club.
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Clovis Bradley : [the banker walks out of the saloon holding Donovan's bejeweled pin] Hey Mr. Donovan, why does he got your cherished token of a lady's affection?
Russel Donavan : Because three deuces beats aces over eights, that's why.
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Bobby : If they give us to Mrs. Stockley, she won't hit us with a stick, will she?
Russell Donovan : Why would she hit you with a stick?
Bobby : She hits Mr. Stockley with a stick.