The Bed Sitting Room (1969)
Mona Washbourne: Mother
Photos
Quotes
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Mother : [On being shown her own death certificate by the nurse] Do I lie down or something?
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Mother : I wish there were more people her own age on the Circle Line.
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Alan : Actually, sir, I'm a commuter chap. You know, backwards and forwards.
Mother : That's nice.
Alan : Forwards and backwards.
Father : How dare you!
Mother : Does it get boring?
Father : How really dare you say such things.
[looks at his pregnant daughter Penelope]
Father : And *do* them.
[Penelope snickers]
Alan : Well, I'd be interested in joining your party. I'm sure you could use another pair of hands.
Father : You keep your filthy commuter hands to yourself!
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Father : She's got big busts, hasn't she, for a girl her age.
Alan : Yeah.
Father : Well, this bust, especially, it seems to, the nipples seem to stand out more on that one.
Mother : Father's very observant. He was in the Corp!
Penelope : I wish you wouldn't talk about me in front of Alan. He doesn't want to know about my busts.
Alan : No! I do! I do!
[Penelope smiles]
Mother : Shall we stop her for tea?
Father : I hope all this family talk isn't boring you, Alan.
Alan : No, not a bit of it.
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Mother : If I had known the end would be such a relief, if only I'd--and I used to say, "For Christ's sake, drop it." Didn't I?
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Nurse Arthur : What I have here, sir, is your wife's Death Certificate.
Father : Oh, why, thank you.
Mother : Oh, dear. There. Well, it was a lovely way to go.
Penelope : But, Mum is alive!
Father : I'm afraid not, dear.
[hands Mother her Death Certificate]
Mother : It makes me feel all funny to read it.
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Nurse Arthur : It's your wife being alive that seems to be all the trouble, sir.
Father : I'm sorry.
Mother : Oh, I'm sorry. We don't want to cause any trouble.
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Mother : Don't argue with the nurse, dear. She's bound to know best what's best for us.
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Shelter Man : Will you do for me what my first wife did? Doris tries but she can't coordinate, you see. Will you do it for me?
Mother : Well, so long as we get it over quickly--before Daddy misses me.
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Mother : [as a cupboard] Have you not yet finished with my poor bruised body?
Lord Fortnum of Alamein : [as a bed-sitting room] You that black man's woman?
Mother : That's hardly likely in my condition.
Lord Fortnum of Alamein : And what is your condition?
Mother : I'm a cupboard. Will nobody close my drawers?