- Lilian Gilbert: What is it? Aren't they coming?
- Edmund Gilbert: Worse!
- Lilian Gilbert: What can be worse?
- Edmund Gilbert: They're coming to dinner.
- Joseph: We... we have half a bologna, sir, a bottle of pickles and an egg.
- Lilian Gilbert: Joseph, that'll do.
- Joseph: I beg your pardon.
- Edmund Gilbert: Tell me, how are things with you?
- Store owner: Well, not so good, I'm afraid, sir.
- Edmund Gilbert: I'm sorry to hear that.
- Store owner: There aren't many customers like yourself around now, sir.
- Edmund Gilbert: Oh, ho, ho
- Store owner: People don't seem to care what they eat, as long as they eat something.
- Edmund Gilbert: Now that's a bad habit, isn't it?
- Store owner: Well, I suppose we've all got to suffer in the world crisis.
- Edmund Gilbert: I suppose so. I'm suffering from a little crisis of my own.
- Inspector: Not so much of your sex appeal. Oh, she may be Greeta Garbo or Marjoreen Deet-rich, but you cut off her lights.
- Lilian Gilbert: What are you interested in?
- Paul Martin: Oh, a number of things.
- Lilian Gilbert: Mayn't I know?
- Paul Martin: Certainly. I'm very interested in you.
- Lilian Gilbert: In me? Why?
- Paul Martin: Because you're so interested in me...
- [She looks surprised]
- Paul Martin: You usually entertain workmen in your drawing room?
- [She laughs]
- Lilian Gilbert: We've got people coming over for dinner.
- Paul Martin: Who are they?
- Lilian Gilbert: Really? Is it any of your business?
- Paul Martin: Suitors?
- Lilian Gilbert: No, a couple of daddy's rich friends.
- Paul Martin: Oh, a couple of crooks.
- Lilian Gilbert: Businessmen.
- Paul Martin: Well, what's the difference?
- Lilian Gilbert: What's the difference?
- Paul Martin: Well, I'll tell you what the difference is. The business crook gets away with it every time. The ordinary crook never does... like that poor devil I saw trying to escape in the tube today.
- Paul Martin: You know, you look marvelous by candlelight.
- Lilian Gilbert: [laughing] Oh, I don't look at all bad by electricity.
- Edmund Gilbert: There's only one great power in all the world, and that's this, my boy. That's this... cash, cash... cash.
- Edmund Gilbert: You're not gonna take that money with you out on the street?
- Paul Martin: Oh, I can take care of it.
- Edmund Gilbert, Paul Martin: But you might lose it. Look here, why not put it in the safe? You can take away the key.
- Paul Martin: Suppose I lose the key?
- Edmund Gilbert: Well, I've got another one.
- Paul Martin: No. From a working man to a businessman, I prefer to take the money. Goodbye.
- Lilian Gilbert: You go on, you were going to say something.
- Paul Martin: No, I wasn't.
- Lilian Gilbert: But you had spoke.
- Paul Martin: Yes, but I wasn't going to say anything.
- Lilian Gilbert: I think Paul is a charming name.
- Paul Martin: Do you really, Miss Lilian?
- Lilian Gilbert: Yes, Paul.
- Lilian Gilbert: Do you play polo?
- Paul Martin: Never. One meets such awful people.
- Lilian Gilbert: I know. I can't ride either.
- Paul Martin: Some are people who do nothing but run around after silly girls.
- Lilian Gilbert: Very good exercise.
- Paul Martin: I prefer shooting.
- Lilian Gilbert: Pheasants?
- Paul Martin: People.
- Lilian Gilbert: You're not a murdered, are you?
- Paul Martin: Not yet, but I'd like to be.
- Lilian Gilbert: Thinking of killing anyone in particular?
- Paul Martin: Yes. The sort of ass who wears a monocle.
- Lilian Gilbert: Really, Mr. Martin. I fail to see why you should sulk for 10 minutes just because I happen to have a nephew who wears a monocle.
- Paul Martin: A nephew? Oh, just imagine you having a nephew.
- Lilian Gilbert: Absurd, isn't it?
- Paul Martin: Absurd? I think it's absolutely delightful. I wish I were your nephew.
- Meyer: He has his shares, and you have your shares.
- Edmund Gilbert: Yes. And you have no shares.
- Meyer: Well, that's just what I want to talk about.
- Edmund Gilbert: Do you think you can walk into my house with a bundle of dirty paper, and walk out of it with my daughter?
- Paul Martin: That is my sincere belief, and my present plan.
- Edmund Gilbert: Do you know what this fellow said in there, that he's going to marry you?
- Lilian Gilbert: Did you say that?
- Paul Martin: Yes.
- Lilian Gilbert: He was lying. Leave it to me. If there's any throwing out to be done, I'll do the kicking. It's my affair.
- Edmund Gilbert: Just because you happen to have a few thousand stolen dollars.
- Paul Martin: Not stolen.
- Edmund Gilbert: Well... confound it, they're in your pocket.
- Paul Martin: No, not in my pocket.
- Edmund Gilbert: Well, where are they?
- Paul Martin: Nowhere. Burned.
- Edmund Gilbert: What? No.
- Lilian Gilbert: Yes, daddy, burned... Joseph put them all in the fire.
- Edmund Gilbert: All the hundred thousand?
- Lilian Gilbert: Yes.
- Edmund Gilbert: And you had the infernal cheek to play that trick on Jordan?
- Paul Martin: Yes.
- Edmund Gilbert: And on me?
- Paul Martin: Yes.
- Edmund Gilbert: When you had no money at all?
- Paul Martin: Yes... I learned a few things from you, Mr. Gilbert. But then, of course, as you know, I'm no businessman.
- Edmund Gilbert: Oh, no, no. You're not a businessman. No, no, you're a... if she wasn't here I'd tell you what you are.
- [last lines]
- Edmund Gilbert: The whole thing a fake, from beginning to end.
- Lilian Gilbert: Only the beginning, darling. Not the end.