- (re: The American Motion Pictures Association's rating for Freddy Got Fingered (2001)): "They slammed us with an NC-17 rating. That's like, Porn - with Murder".
- On his film Freddy Got Fingered (2001) being nominated for 8 Razzie Awards including Worst Picture and Worst Actor of 2001 (as quoted in The San Diego Union, 2/15/02): "I am very proud and honored to be nominated for these awards. I've never won an award before. I hope there is an actual trophy because I've already dusted off my mantel. I guess dreams can come true."
- His Worst Picture acceptance speech for Freddy Got Fingered (2001), at the Razzie Awards: "I'd just like to say to all the other nominees in the audience, I don't think I deserve this any more than any one of you. I'd like to say that, but it wouldn't be true, though!"
- On hosting the 2004 Canadian Tribute Celebration & Gala: "When my agent told me I had been asked to host Canada's Walk of Fame I was both surprised and delighted ... surprised that I still had an agent ... and delighted to be allowed back into Canada,"
- On divorcing Drew Barrymore: Drew is a wonderful woman, I love her very much. I wish our marriage could have worked out, I wish her much happiness.
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