- I don't know much, but I know a little about a lot of things.
- [explaining his and Stan Laurel's success] The world is full of Laurel and Hardys. I saw them all the time as a boy at my mother's hotel. There's always the dumb, dumb guy, who never has anything bad happen to him, and the smart guy who's even dumber than the dumb guy, only he doesn't know it.
- [his usual response when asked about how they made the films] You better ask Stan.
- [on his physical grace and athleticism]: I hate to see big men lurching around all over the place.
- On his screen character - I'm the dumbest kind of guy there is; I'm the dumb guy who thinks he's smart.
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