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- DirectorStiles WhiteStarsOlivia CookeAna CotoDaren KagasoffA group of friends must confront their most terrifying fears when they awaken the dark powers of an ancient spirit board.What a load of ...
- DirectorBrandon ChristensenStarsKeegan Connor TracyJett KlyneSean RogersonA family finds themselves terrorized by their eight-year-old son's imaginary friend.Started out good with a couple of decent scares, and atmospheric story, but at the halfway point it got utterly silly and nonsensical.
- CreatorJosh BooneBenjamin CavellStarsWhoopi GoldbergAlexander SkarsgårdJames MarsdenAfter the world is in ruins, due to a man-made plague, a battle of Biblical proportions ensues between the survivors.I hate myself for watching it till the end, but after the fine episodes 3 and 4 I had hope. Overall the show was way below mediocre. Shame.
- DirectorMichael KatlemanStarsDominic PurcellOrlando JonesBrooke LangtonA news team is sent to Burundi to capture and bring home a legendary 25-foot crocodile. Their difficult task turns potentially deadly when a warlord targets them for death.What a piece of crap. Hardly any crocodile - most deaths were by human hands, not by crocodile - sexist and racist, no one to root for, 'cause they were all jerks, and more about African civil war and corruption than about a bad-ass crocodile. Oh, and also a homophobic "joke" coming out of nowhere at the expense of a character who was shown at the start of the movie for only 45 seconds, and was just there for two of the main characters - you know, the people we're supposed to ROOT FOR - to laugh at and high-five each other over.
Eff this travesty. If I could I would have rated it 0. - DirectorKevin McManusMatthew McManusStarsChris SheffieldMichaela McManusNeville ArchambaultSomething lurks off the coast of Block Island, silently influencing the behavior of fisherman, Tom Lynch. After suffering a series of violent outbursts, he unknowingly puts his family in grave danger.Can't tell you if it was good, 'cause I dozed off 3 or 4 times during the last half hour, and didn't bother to rewind. So it probably wasn't very good.
- StarsLaura TovarCristal AparicioPablo Guisa KoestingerReal people's terrifying tales of the chilling, unexplained and paranormal come to life with dramatic reenactments in this reality series.A tad better than its "big brother" show Haunted, but still very amateurish.
- DirectorKenneth JohnsonStarsErin ChambersTy HodgesRobin RikerA teen enlists the help of an imaginary friend named Larry Houdini to deal with a prank-playing bogeyman, who's framing her for his dastardly deeds.Silly and random. Wasn't bored, but eh ...
- CreatorBrad FalchukRyan MurphyHalley FeifferStarsLady GagaKathy BatesAngela BassettAn anthology series centering on different characters and locations, showcasing different aspects of horror.American Horror Story: 1984 (or, season 9). I know, it's my own fault. 3/10
I actually liked the first two seasons, but by season 3 it became a drag to me, as it was too silly.
I have since watched the first few episodes of every season (except hotel, because I really don't like Lady Gaga) to see if they'd do anything for me, but they didn't.
But as 1984 should be an homage to 80s slashers I thought How wrong can it go? Harper's Island did a decent job some years ago.
My soul is hurting.
Never has a show unravelled so quickly. Just a few things: 1984 was ditched halfway through to take place in 1985, 1989, and 2019; yes, there was slashing, but there was also ghosts, satan, resurrections/rebirths; Kajagoogoo was for some reason slaughtered (and they couldn't even get a decent Limahl lookalike); everybody dies, wait, now they're ghosts, everyone's a murderer, wait, except that one guy we all thought it was; also, if you for some reason forgot that you were watching a show set in the 80s they made sure to, at least one bazillion times in each episode, mention something that is quintessential 80s; and suddenly a lot of new characters for the last 4 episodes; and exposition. Sooo much exposition.
I have probably missed something but I don't want to spend another second thinking about it.
How difficult would it have been to just make a straight-up slasher? - DirectorLars KlevbergStarsTim MathesonBen DaonZahra AndersonA mother gives her 13-year-old son a toy doll for his birthday, unaware of its more sinister nature.What an effing travesty. No tension, no excitement, no shocks. A few gore effects. Badly written, badly directed. Felt like the writer was 12 years old and had gotten permission to use a lot of F-words in a movie. Juvenile crap.
The kid was good and likeable, so were the cop and his mom, but everyone else was an effing, assholey imbecile. Not even Mark Hamill could save this.
I'm angry. - DirectorMalik VitthalStarsMary J. BligeNat WolffDavid ZayasWhen a routine traffic stop results in the unexplained, grisly death of her colleague, a cop realizes footage of the incident will play for her eyes only. As the attacks mount, she races to understand the supernatural force behind them.There's police brutality, a few decent gore effects, supernatural shenanigans, and a lot of social commentary.
I don't mind social commentary in my horror movies at all, but it seemed like writer and director didn't know quite what to do with it. - CreatorScott BuckStarsAnson MountSerinda SwanKen LeungAn isolated community of superhumans fight to protect themselves.What a weird show. I don't mean awesome weird. I mean WTF were they thinking? weird.
The bad guy is a guy who literally wants to end slavery and the bigoted caste system. What the hell? To make him seem like someone who should be stopped they of course have him kill some people. The king and queen he's trying to stop are literal dictators. I hoped the showrunners would be self-aware enough that they would address this, but it was only touched upon a tiny bit, and then forgotten, because bad guy has gotta be bad.
Fight scenes were like in a telenovela.
FX were meh, though I get it, it's a TV-show.
The acting was very stiff. I never ficgured out if it was a choice or if the actors and directors just didn't give a crap. The only emoting character was a giant CGI bulldog.
Weird editing. Like, two female characters are in a hotel room when the police comes for them and we see them run for the door to escape. Cut to another scene with some of the other main characters. Then to another scene with some other characters. Then back to the two ladies, and in any other movie/show we'd cut to them maybe being in a car far away from their pursuers, but here we cut to the second DIRECTLY after they flee, we see them come out through the door they were running for. Sloppy. - DirectorLevan GabriadzeStarsHeather SossamanMatthew BohrerCourtney HalversonA group of online chatroom friends find themselves haunted by a mysterious, supernatural force using the account of their dead friend.A whole lot of nothing.
- DirectorCharlie SteedsStarsKate SpeakMark McKirdyMakenna GuylerSet on the canals amid the glorious British countryside, two sisters and their boyfriends head off for a relaxing weekend away on a barge, unaware of the flesh-eating fish mutants lurking in the water, ready and waiting to feed.Same director as A Werewolf in England, but this time he didn't pen the script himself.
It's played more seriously but would have benefitted from some humour, because it was rather dull. - DirectorPaul MooreStarsSunny La RoseJames Edward HolleyKatie Jo FulksAfter returning from a woodland hike, Clara's daughter's behavior turns increasingly bizarre and dangerous. Convinced that her daughter is possessed by the Devil, Clara turns to Father Daniels, the family priest.Kinda dull. Also, not a wasp, paper or otherwise, in sight.
- DirectorChad ArchibaldStarsElma BegovicAnnette WozniakDenise YuenWhile on her bachelorette party getaway, Casey, the bride to be, gets a seemingly harmless bite from an unknown insect. After the trip, Casey discovers that everything can change with a single bite.Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid, a few gross/creepy effects, stupid stupid stupid. Avoid.
- DirectorMichael JonesStarsKevin DeeJackson TozerTroy LarkinAfter heading to the country to sell his childhood home, Kevin finds himself caught in the middle of a missing persons case while he also begins developing visions of a wolf.Literally NOTHING happens! Waste of 85 minutes.
- DirectorLeigh JaniakStarsKiana MadeiraOlivia Scott WelchBenjamin Flores Jr.A circle of teenage friends accidentally encounter the ancient evil responsible for a series of brutal murders that have plagued their town for over 300 years. Welcome to Shadyside.I dunno. The neon colours in the beginning did my head in; in the first 30 minutes they played snippets of 6000 period-accurate songs just to make sure we really got that it was 1994 (except for the few songs that came out a year or two later) and it was stressful as heck; most of the characters were insufferable and stupid. It was like a kids' movie that amped up the gore. Not impressed.
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsJohn SaxonElizabeth TurnerGiovanni Lombardo RadiceMentally unstable Vietnam vets who were held captive by the Viet Cong come back to America after being rescued carrying a dangerous virus that turns people into cannibals when bitten.What a bizarre movie. That's not a recommendation.
- DirectorLeigh JaniakStarsSadie SinkEmily RuddRyan SimpkinsShadyside, 1978. School's out for summer and the activities at Camp Nightwing are about to begin. But when another Shadysider is possessed with the urge to kill, the fun in the sun becomes a gruesome fight for survival.Stupid, incoherent, and drawn-out. And would filmmakers PLEASE STOP with unlikeable main characters? It's not horror if we root for them to die.
- DirectorMark EvansStarsMaria Simona ArsuPatrick Sebastian NegreanMarius Dan MunteanuRachel and her team of film makers travel to Transylvania, Romania, to document the paranormal phenomena within Hoia-Baciu Forest.You take the The Blair Witch Project script, tweak it a bit, sets it in a snowy forest in Romania, come up with another lore, and boom, you have a shitty movie with soooooo many close-ups of trees and snow and branches.
- DirectorAdam WingardStarsAlexander SkarsgårdMillie Bobby BrownRebecca HallThe epic next chapter in the cinematic Monsterverse pits two of the greatest icons in motion picture history against each other--the fearsome Godzilla and the mighty Kong--with humanity caught in the balance.It was a movie. Stuff happened. It sometimes had fun visuals when they weren't drowned in teal, orange, and neon. Sooo much neon.
Other than that, it was the Rise of Skywalker of the Kong-Zilla-verse. There were stuff for 4 movies squeezed into 1hr 53mns, with 8mns of those being end credits, everything ever apparently needed to be in it without rhyme or reason and every human being in it was inconsequential to the story; especially Millie Bobby Brown and her team deus ex machinaed their way through the movie, and I hate to say it about a kid actor, but Millie Bobby Brown is so effing annoying and bland.
And so on and on and on ...
Nothing made sense.
I wonder if Warner Bros. is tired of this franchise and is deliberately trying to kill it. - DirectorDave ParkerStarsIvan DjurovicRick IrwinSanny van HeterenAndre, recovering from a recent accident, agrees to help his friend Robert by taking over a house sitting job at a creepy home nestled in the hills above Los Angeles. As night comes, the house reveals its insidious nature as Andre begins hearing ominous sounds and experiencing strange occurrences throughout the house that lead him to believe he is not alone, and that someone, or something is in the house with him.Again, it was a movie ...
- DirectorKevin LewisStarsNicolas CageEmily TostaBeth GrantA quiet drifter is tricked into a janitorial job at the now condemned Willy's Wonderland. The mundane tasks suddenly become an all-out fight for survival against wave after wave of demonic animatronics. Fists fly, kicks land, titans clash -- and only one side will make it out alive.Pure crap. I get that it's not meant to be taken seriously, or not even be a "good" film, but it was bad AND boring. How the eff do you make a movie about animatronic, stuffed animals that come alive and want to eat you BORING?
- DirectorAlexandre BustilloJulien MauryStarsCamille RoweJames JaggerEric SavinWhile diving in a remote French lake, a couple who specialize in urban exploration videos discover a house submerged in deep waters. Their dive turns into a nightmare when they discover the house was the scene of atrocious crimes.As someone who loves Inside/A l'intérieur, and really likes Livid, this was a huge disappointment. I mean, a haunted house at the bottom of a lake is such a cool concept, but nothing worthwhile was done with it.
Some gorgeous cinematography, though. - DirectorDavid KoeppStarsKevin BaconAmanda SeyfriedAvery Tiiu EssexA former banker, his actress wife, and their spirited daughter book a vacation at an isolated modern home in the Welsh countryside where nothing is quite as it seems.Mediocre thriller that doesn't make a lot of sense. Not even Kevin Bacon could salvage it.