2012 Reviews
Best to Worst films I saw that were made in 2012.
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37 titles
- DirectorRich MooreStarsJohn C. ReillyJack McBrayerJane LynchA video game villain wants to be a hero and sets out to fulfill his dream, but his quest brings havoc to the whole arcade where he lives.Sheer fun. Never a dull moment.
Great villain, but a shame he died so easily.
No, I'm not talking about Ralph!
When he was in the chocolate, breathing through a straw, the Darth Vador breathing jarred me something fierce.
My score: 82/100 - DirectorTom TykwerLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsTom HanksHalle BerryHugh GrantAn exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution.Bloody hell!
You have to pay attention, but it's worth it.
It's like all the best parts of five awesome stories intertwined.
Except for the shipman being poisoned by the doctor on some ship. Who cares about that when you've got a gay musical genius on the run in gay-hate times, a nuclear power plant meltdown assassin story, a fugitive clone exposing the awful truth about the future, a post-apocalyptic adventure with cannibals and a bunch of old people escaping from a retirement home!
My score: 78/100 - DirectorRian JohnsonStarsJoseph Gordon-LevittBruce WillisEmily BluntIn 2074, when the mob wants to get rid of someone, the target is sent into the past, where a hired gun awaits - someone like Joe - who one day learns the mob wants to 'close the loop' by sending back Joe's future self for assassination.My score: 76/100
- DirectorJoss WhedonStarsRobert Downey Jr.Chris EvansScarlett JohanssonEarth's mightiest heroes must come together and learn to fight as a team if they are going to stop the mischievous Loki and his alien army from enslaving humanity.Character interaction was roughly as fun as the action extravaganza.
Not a fan of Arrow-Eyes or Mug-Shot or whatever he's called.
My score: 75/100 - DirectorQuentin TarantinoStarsJamie FoxxChristoph WaltzLeonardo DiCaprioWith the help of a German bounty-hunter, a freed slave sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal plantation owner in Mississippi."Sorry.. I couldn't resist"
"I like the way you die boy"
A satchel of dynamite can't make a mansion explode. No. Bad Django.
My score: 72/100 - DirectorPeter BergStarsAlexander SkarsgårdBrooklyn DeckerLiam NeesonA fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.Battleships, Alien battleships, force fields, angry Liam Neelson, wierd-faced woman who is suposed to be attractive, Aliens with cauliflower hands.
I don't care if you think it's stupid.
It's loads and lots of fun.
Why do you hate fun?
My score: 71/100 - DirectorPeter JacksonStarsMartin FreemanIan McKellenRichard ArmitageA reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of dwarves to reclaim their mountain home and the gold within it from the dragon Smaug.Fun to be back in Middle-Earth.
My score: 70/100 - DirectorTim BurtonStarsWinona RyderCatherine O'HaraMartin ShortWhen a boy's beloved dog passes away suddenly, he attempts to bring the animal back to life through a powerful science experiment.Anything with something bad happening to somebody's dog makes my tears fall out.
It would have been more successful if they'd advertised it as: Based on the material that got Tim Burton fired from Disney!
My score: 69/100 - DirectorTed KolandStarsJustin LongJess WeixlerTyler LabineA newlywed couple cancels their honeymoon and returns to the snowy Midwest to make the funeral arrangements for their best man, who died unexpectedly after their ceremony.Compelling.
Realistic.
A bit emotional.
Feels like it lacked something.
My score: 68/100 - DirectorStobe HarjuMark RoperStarsFrancis X. McCarthyGlenda BraganzaHelene RobbieA coma sends an old man into his childhood's sinister fantasy world, where he must fight dementia and gain back his memories before it's too late.Nightwish is my favourite band, so all that music was music to my music ears.
Started off a little too weird for me, but I slowly got it.
Me to housemate: "I got that bit. That was cool".
Was the roller coaster a metaphor for life? If so, that's fun.
Genuine emotions to be had at the end.
My score: 67/100 - DirectorPeter RamseyStarsHugh JackmanAlec BaldwinIsla FisherWhen the evil spirit Pitch launches an assault on Earth, the Immortal Guardians team up to protect the innocence of children all around the world.Fun characters and delicious visuals with a crap story.
My score: 66/100 - DirectorGary RossStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to fight to the death.Horrible, evil, oppressive rich society gives you something to really hate.
I kept repeating "bring it down.. bring it all down" to myself.
Wish I knew what that was from.
Looking forwards to the sequel.
Did I really think that? I've just listen to the audiobook and re-watched this. It was terrible! Such dire screenplay that lost so much. Close-ups of people's faces all the freaking time. Almost as bad an adaptation as the Harry Potters.
My score: 65/100 (first viewing) - DirectorMatt Bettinelli-OlpinDavid BrucknerTyler GillettStarsCalvin Lee ReederLane HughesAdam WingardWhen a group of misfits are hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.Lots of fun horror without the waiting.
My score: 64/100 - DirectorChris ButlerSam FellStarsKodi Smit-McPheeAnna KendrickChristopher Mintz-PlasseA misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse.Had to climax with the witch a second time.
My score: 63/100 - DirectorRZAStarsRussell CroweCung LeLucy LiuOn the hunt for a fabled treasure of gold, a band of warriors, assassins, and a rogue British soldier descend upon a village in feudal China, where a humble blacksmith looks to defend himself and his fellow villagers.Lots of mad fighting.
People have spikes that come out from their shoes and arms when needed and can shoot projectiles from their back and Russel Crowe has a spinning double-bladed knife which is also a gun and the prostitutes have metal snakes in their mouth that poison you and the main guy has Buddhist energy in his metal arms and one person is Colossus from X-Men.
My score: 62/100 - DirectorRidley ScottStarsNoomi RapaceLogan Marshall-GreenMichael FassbenderFollowing clues to the origin of mankind, a team finds a structure on a distant moon, but they soon realize they are not alone.The first half is ruined by intelligent people being and saying stupid things.
How can such an angry, hostile man be a geologist.
3% CO2 in the atmosphere is not deadly.
Why does the boyfriend get so disappointed after furfilling his life-long ambition to find aliens.
Biologists do not refer to Evolution as 'Darwinism'.
One of the scientists who is scared of everything falls in love with a clearly dangerous alien snake.
My score: 61/100 - DirectorHarmony KorineStarsVanessa HudgensSelena GomezAshley BensonFour college girls hold up a restaurant in order to fund their spring break vacation. While partying, drinking, and taking drugs, they are arrested, only to be bailed out by a drug and arms dealer.Thought it was going to be humdrum dumb dumb.
All that uncomfortable spring break stuff that really didn't seem fun.
Gets good after they get arrested.
Also liked how they weren't sticks.
My score: 61/100 - DirectorPaul W.S. AndersonStarsMilla JovovichSienna GuilloryMichelle RodriguezAlice fights alongside a resistance movement to regain her freedom from an Umbrella Corporation testing facility.Cool beginning.
Cool ending sort of ruined by everyone standing still like a statue.
How was Alice moving around so much and taking hits to the chest and being alive when her ribcage got crushed?
That killed the black guy instantly.
My score: 60/100 - DirectorMatthias HoeneStarsRasmus HardikerHarry TreadawayMichelle RyanA gang of bank robbers fight their way out of a zombie-infested London.My score: 60/100
- DirectorAdam ShankmanStarsJulianne HoughDiego BonetaTom CruiseA small-town girl and a city boy meet on the Sunset Strip while pursuing their Hollywood dreams.Quite fun times, but no compelling character/story / meaning/message / spirit/soul soup.
My score: 60/100 - DirectorRupert SandersStarsKristen StewartChris HemsworthCharlize TheronIn a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen.Made me almost find Kirsten Stewart attractive.
Too much hallucinogenic Puff Balls and rapidly molding apples for my liking.
I thought shard warrior was a bit silly.
My score: 59/100 - DirectorJake SchreierStarsPeter SarsgaardFrank LangellaSusan SarandonIn the near future, an ex-jewel thief receives a gift from his son: a robot butler programmed to look after him. But soon the two companions try their luck as a heist team.What happens is very predictable.
I'm not sure what did happen. Maybe I need a robot too.
My score: 59/100 - DirectorMartin McDonaghStarsColin FarrellWoody HarrelsonSam RockwellA struggling screenwriter inadvertently becomes entangled in the Los Angeles criminal underworld after his oddball friends kidnap a gangster's beloved Shih Tzu.Had a fair amount of funnies, but wasn't as fun as the trailer made it look.
I'm glad that psychopath 1 and 7 finally got some paw.
My score: 58/100 - DirectorPhil LordChristopher MillerStarsJonah HillChanning TatumIce CubeA pair of underachieving cops are sent back to a local high school to blend in and bring down a synthetic drug ring.Quite fun, but the formula stares you in the face.
My score: 57/100 - DirectorPete TravisStarsKarl UrbanOlivia ThirlbyLena HeadeyIn a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.Reasonably fun, but not too fun. On a scale of 1 - fun, it'd definitely register.
Dredd is a normal sounding man with an average frame. The other male Judges sounded better and had bigger beefburgers.
My score: 56/100