Should have stayed away from those...
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- DirectorPhil TippettStarsBilly BrownRichard BurgiKelly CarlsonIn the sequel to Paul Verhoeven's loved/reviled sci-fi film, a group of troopers taking refuge in an abandoned outpost after fighting alien bugs, failing to realize that more danger lays in wait.Number 1 was cool. Supercool. Then out came this under-budgeted, uncool, un-everything piece of gosa (firefly, anyone?). They even made a part 3. Never had the courage to watch this one...
- DirectorStephen SommersStarsHugh JackmanKate BeckinsaleRichard RoxburghThe famed monster hunter is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula, who is using Dr. Frankenstein's research and a werewolf for nefarious purposes.Was it Mr. Hyde, Frankenstein or the monkey-werewolves? Or the fact that they made K-Becks look like a hooker? I don't remember what all went wrong, but it did. Hugh Jackman WAS the perfect Van Helsing guy. That's all I can say to defend that movie.
- DirectorHoward DeutchStarsBruce WillisMatthew PerryNatasha HenstridgeJimmy the Tulip's quiet new life is shaken up by his old pal Oz, whose wife has been kidnapped by a Hungarian mob. The Tulip and his wife Jill spring into action.I'm sure Bruce Willis is still having dreams about this one. The man hast (apart from this one and very few others) a pretty good track record.
- DirectorJohn PasquinStarsSandra BullockRegina KingWilliam ShatnerGracie Hart abandons the life of a field agent to become the public face of the FBI. Yet, when Cheryl Frasier and Stan Fields are kidnapped, she is determined to rescue them, along with her reluctant partner.The same goes for Sandra Bullock. She does quality work. Most of the time.
- DirectorJohn GulagerStarsDanielle PanabakerVing RhamesDavid HasselhoffAfter the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.I hated to admit the first one's qualities as both a horror movie and as a fun movie. It somehow worked!
Part 2? A total disaster in every way possible! - DirectorMic RodgersStarsJean-Claude Van DammeBill GoldbergHeidi SchanzThe "universal soldiers" must fight the whole army, when the military's supercomputer S.E.T.H gets out of control.As a b-movie it was pretty good. But Unisol 1 was not a b-movie, but a very entertaining (no-brain-needed) action movie. It's just the direct comparison what makes Unisol 2 bad.
- DirectorRob CohenStarsBrendan FraserJet LiMaria BelloIn the Far East, Alex O'Connell, the son of famed mummy fighters Rick and Evy O'Connell, unearths the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity cursed by a witch centuries ago.Most of the movies on this list suffer the unfortunate fate of being the sequel to a better previous movie (The Mummy was good!). This movie has some other problems:
1. You can't just replace actors. Not even with someone as good-looking as Maria Bello.
2. Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li are special effects on their own! So why drowning the movie in stupid looking CGI??
3. Number two counts double, actually!! - DirectorNicolas Winding RefnStarsRyan GoslingCarey MulliganBryan CranstonA mysterious Hollywood action film stuntman gets in trouble with gangsters when he tries to help his neighbor's husband rob a pawn shop while serving as his getaway driver.Didn't like the protagonist. (How could anyone? And it's got nothing to do with Gosling.)
What I do like is action and/or suspense... so where was it?
It just felt so empty and... unlikely. - DirectorGuy RitchieStarsJason StathamRay LiottaAndré 3000Gambler Jake Green enters into a game with potentially deadly consequences.I can't actually describe that one... so many things are wrong with it. I wouldn't know where to begin.
- DirectorJonathan MostowStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerNick StahlKristanna LokenA machine from a post-apocalyptic future travels back in time to protect a man and a woman from an advanced robotic assassin to ensure they both survive a nuclear attack.Again, I hate it, when they just replace actors. Nick Stahl can never be John Connor. It's a no-go.
Apart from that? It's a good movie. It just doesn't compare to part 1 or 2.
The same goes for part four by the way... - DirectorPaul W.S. AndersonStarsMilla JovovichAli LarterWentworth MillerWhile still out to destroy the evil Umbrella Corporation, Alice joins a group of survivors living in a prison surrounded by the infected who also want to relocate to the mysterious but supposedly unharmed safe haven known only as Arcadia.'Afterlife' was the last good one of the franchise. Now it's ruined.
Now it's just about cool shots of Milla running, shooting and moving in slow motion, playing queen-of-all-badasses. Apparently, making a suspenseful action movie didn't matter anymore.
Thank you very much!! - DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsHarrison FordCate BlanchettShia LaBeoufIndiana Jones becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.Liked the first, liked the second at least as much and loved the third!!
4? There were some good elements, yes, but after the first half the movie turns into magic wonderland, starring Tarzan and ET's cousins!
And GCI ants! Lots of them. What, you thought the'd look real?? - DirectorDarren Lynn BousmanStarsTobin BellShawnee SmithAngus MacfadyenJigsaw abducts a doctor in order to keep himself alive while he watches his new apprentice put an unlucky citizen named Jeff through a brutal test.Saw one was intense!
Two was a good sequel.
From there on it's just about trying to find the audience's threshhold. Well guess what? Even the most gruesome means of torture can be, in a way, boring as all hell.
That actually worries me a little bit... - DirectorCatherine HardwickeStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonBilly BurkeWhen Bella Swan moves to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a mysterious classmate who reveals himself to be a 108-year-old vampire.It's my own fault. I knew exactly what I was doing. I should thought one of this series should be mentioned here.
- DirectorKeenen Ivory WayansStarsAnna FarisMarlon WayansAntony AckerFour teens are tricked by a professor into visiting a haunted house for a school project.Scary Movie 2 dwells among other poorly made movies such as The Date Movie, The Fantastic Movie, Meet the Spartans, The Superhero Movie, etc.
Farting and ejaculating is not just automatically funny. It has to be delivered with comic timing. Not just in spades.
A fart joke can be hilarious, but they rarely are. - DirectorJeremiah HundleyStarsDanny TrejoGary DanielsKrystal Vee"In the deep jungles of South East Asia a blood thirsty mercenary Sebastian, hunts for the thrill of the chase and victims to sell into slavery. In one operation he kills a peaceful local shaman Aroon, and his family. As Sebastian leaves with his catch, Aroon dies... only to come to life the next day. Something has happened to Aroon, a gift to some, but a curse to him - for he cannot die. Full of despair and unable to cope with life without his family he attempts suicide. After each attempt he dies, only to be reborn the next morning. Trying to understand what prevents him from dying Aroon must go on a quest that will lead him across the jungles and cities of Asia, searching for a secret to unlock his immortality."Gary Daniels is one of the actors who I'd love to see in more good roles. Unfortunately, his career choices are even worse than his acting skills.
He continues to play roles in movies of shockingly poor quality. Like this one.
Has anyone who agreed to be a part of this actually read the script? - DirectorUwe BollStarsZack WardDave FoleyVerne TroyerIn the ironically named city of Paradise, a loser teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park. The recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent.It's one of earth's great mysteries how Uwe Boll gets his movies financed. Because they're always not quite bad enough to make you turn off the TV, but still pretty bad, so at the end they leave you disappointed and two hours older.
Somehow, you gotta admire this man's doggedness. Any other guy whose work keeps getting bashed by the critics would resign and find another career, but nooo, not him. He keeps making sequels of movies that nobody had been waiting for.
Wow! Dungeon Siege 3? Seriously? - DirectorP.J. PesceStarsTom BerengerClayne CrawfordTommy FlanaganHords of insane assassins (2 cute) gather in or near a bar waiting to kill an insignificant FBI pencil pusher at 3AM and collect $3M. He's kept in a safe house/bunker nearby surrounded by FBI agents. Action awaits.This one is very watchable. It's brainless fun. But as it is often the case, part two is the trashier version of its original. It lacks that little something extra which made the original special.
Like the Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. It's just not quite as clever as the first one. But still OK. You know what I mean? - DirectorRichard KellyStarsCameron DiazJames MarsdenFrank LangellaWith the press of a button, a wooden box bestows riches and death.A whole lot of nothing with James Marsden and Cameron Diaz in the middle of it all. Watch it. You'll be disappointed. I promise!
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.Whenever I see a shooting star I close my eyes and wish that there was only one Matrix movie and the two sequels were just from some bad dream I once had!
- DirectorJoe JohnstonStarsChris EvansHugo WeavingSamuel L. JacksonSteve Rogers, a rejected military soldier, transforms into Captain America after taking a dose of a "Super-Soldier serum". But being Captain America comes at a price as he attempts to take down a warmonger and a terrorist organization.They even misspelled the title... should it not be The Worst Avenger?
Rarely have I seen a villain that is so unthreatening as Red Skull.