- Rocket Raccoon: This is Thanos we're talking about. He's the toughest there is
- Thor: Well, he's never fought me.
- Rocket Raccoon: Yeah, he has.
- Thor: He's never fought me twice.
- Thanos: Daughter.
- Young Gamora: Did you do it?
- Thanos: Yes.
- Young Gamora: What did it cost?
- Thanos: ...Everything.
- Thanos: I know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail nonetheless. It's frightening, turns the legs to jelly. I ask you to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now it's here. Or should I say, I am.
- Gamora: I was a child when you took me.
- Thanos: I saved you.
- Gamora: No. We were happy on my home planet.
- Thanos: You were going to bed hungry, scrounging for scraps. Your planet was on the brink of collapse. I'm the one who stopped that. You know what's happened since then? The children born have known nothing but full bellies and clear skies. It's a paradise.
- Gamora: Because you murdered half the planet.
- Thanos: A small price to pay for salvation.
- Gamora: You're insane.
- Thanos: Little one, it's a simple calculus. This universe is finite, its resources, finite. If life is left unchecked, life will cease to exist. It needs correcting.
- Gamora: You don't know that!
- Thanos: I'm the only one who knows that. At least, I'm the only one with the will to act on it.
- [the Guardians bring Thor aboard]
- Peter Quill: How the hell is this dude still alive?
- Drax: He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
- Peter Quill: I'm muscular.
- Rocket Raccoon: Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat.
- Peter Quill: Yeah, right.
- Drax: It's true. You have put on weight.
- Peter Quill: What?
- [Drax gestures at his chin and gut]
- Peter Quill: Gamora, do you think I'm...
- Mantis: [sensing Thor] He is anxious, angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt.
- Drax: It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel.
- Peter Quill: Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay, I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells.
- Rocket Raccoon: You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?
- Gamora: [touching Thor's arms] It's like his muscles are made of Chitauri metal fibers.
- Peter Quill: Stop massaging his muscles.
- Bruce Banner: Who's Scott?
- Steve Rogers: Ant-Man.
- Bruce Banner: There's an Ant-Man *and* a Spider-Man?
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Ok, let me ask you this one time: What master do you serve?
- Peter Quill: Oh, what master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, Jesus?
- Gamora: All my life I dreamed of a day, a moment, when you got what you deserved. And I was always so disappointed. But now, you kill and torture and you call it mercy. The universe has judged you. You asked it for a prize and it told you no. You failed. And do you wanna know why? Because you love nothing. No one.
- [Thanos weeps]
- Gamora: [scoffs] Really? Tears?
- Red Skull (Stonekeeper): They are not for him.
- [Gamora realizes what Thanos is going to do]
- Peter Parker: [while teleporting and beating up Thanos] Magic. More Magic. Magic with a Kick. Mag...
- [Thanos graps Peter by the throat]
- Thanos: Insect!
- Thor: There are six stones out there. Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth, they're with the Avengers.
- Peter Quill: The Avengers?
- Thor: The Earth's mightiest heroes.
- Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?
- Thor: He may be on the team. I don't know, I haven't been there in a while.
- Peter Quill: [notices Drax has been watching him and Gamora] Dude. How long have you been standing there?
- Drax: An hour.
- Peter Quill: An hour?
- Gamora: Are you serious?
- Drax: I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still... that I become invisible to the eye... Watch.
- [slowing starts moving his hand]
- Peter Quill: You're eating a Zargnut.
- Drax: My movement... is so slow... that it's imperceptible.
- Peter Quill: Mmm, no.
- Drax: I'm sure I'm invisible.
- Mantis: Hi, Drax.
- Drax: [after a pause] Dammit.
- [Groot is playing a video game called Defender. Peter Quill turns to Groot]
- Peter Quill: Groot, put that thing away. Now, I don't wanna tell you again... Groot?
- Groot: [in a mocking tone] I am Groot!
- Peter Quill: Whoa!
- Rocket Raccoon: Language!
- Mantis: Hey!
- Drax: Wow.
- Peter Quill: You got some acorns on you, kid.
- Rocket Raccoon: Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total D-hole.
- [turns to Groot, angrily]
- Rocket Raccoon: Now, keep it up and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!
- Peter Quill: Wait, who are you?
- Peter Parker: We're the Avengers, man.
- Mantis: You're the ones Thor told us about.
- Tony Stark: You know Thor?
- Peter Quill: Yeah, tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.
- Peter Parker: Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I'm sorry.
- Tony Stark: I don't want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?
- [Banner is trying to Hulk out while fighting Obsidion in the Hulkbuster armor]
- Bruce Banner: Hulk. Hulk, I know you like making your entrance at the last second, well, this is it, man. This is the last *last* second. Hulk! Hulk! HULK!
- Hulk: NOOOO!
- Bruce Banner: Oh, screw you, you big green asshole! I'll do it myself!
- Tony Stark: [to the Guardians] We gotta coalesce. Because if all we come out is with a plucky attitude
- Peter Quill: Dude, don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means. We're more optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except, it sucks. So let me do the plan and that way it might be really good.
- Drax: Tell him about the dance-off to save the Universe.
- Tony Stark: What dance-off?
- Peter Quill: It's not a thing.
- Peter Parker: Like in Footloose, the movie?
- Peter Quill: Exactly like Footloose. Is it still the greatest movie in history?
- Peter Parker: It never was.
- Tony Stark: Don't encourage this, all right? We're getting no help from Flash Gordon here.
- Peter Quill: Flash Gordon? That's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half human. So that 50% of me that's stupid that's 100% you.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Seriously? You don't have any money?
- Wong: Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham and rye.
- Wong: Wait, wait, wait. I think I have two hundred.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Dollars?
- Wong: Rupees.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Which is?
- Wong: A... buck and a half.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: [sighs] What do you want?
- Wong: I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt.
- Peter Parker: I don't feel so good Mr. Stark.
- [Looking at his hands]
- Tony Stark: You're alright.
- [Eye widening]
- Peter Parker: I don't want to go, please, I don't want to go Mr. Stark. I am sorry, tony, I am sorry.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: We gotta turn this ship around.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: No, I want to protect the stone.
- Tony Stark: And I want you to thank me. Now, go ahead. I'm listening.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: For what? Nearly blasting me into space?
- Tony Stark: Who just saved your magical ass? Me.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: I seriously don't know how you fit your head into that helmet.
- Tony Stark: Admit it, you should've ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Unlike everyone else in your life, I don't work for you.
- Tony Stark: And due to that fact, we're now in a flying doughnut billions of miles from Earth with no backup.
- Peter Parker: I'm backup.
- Tony Stark: No, you're a stowaway. The adults are talking.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: I'm sorry, I'm confused as to the relationship here. What is he, your ward?
- Peter Parker: No. I'm Peter, by the way.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Doctor Strange.
- Peter Parker: Oh, you're using made-up names. Um... I'm Spider-Man, then.
- Rocket Raccoon: Nidavellir is real? Seriously? I mean, that place is a legend. They make the most powerful and horrific weapons to ever torment the universe. I would very much like to go there, please.
- Thor: The rabbit is correct and clearly the smartest among you.
- Rocket Raccoon: Rabbit?
- Peter Parker: [catches Mantis] I got you!
- [catches Drax]
- Peter Parker: I got you! Sorry, I can't remember anybody's names.
- Thor: You know, I'm 1500 years old. I've killed twice as many enemies as that. And every one of them would have rather killed me than not succeeded. I'm only alive because fate wants me alive. Thanos is just the latest of a long line of bastards, and he'll be the latest to feel my vengeance - fate wills it so.
- Peter Parker: [Peter saves Tony from getting crushed by Obsidion] Hey, man! What's up, Mr Stark?
- Tony Stark: Kid, where'd you come from?
- Peter Parker: Field trip to MoMa!
- [gets thrown by Cull Obsidian]
- Peter Parker: Uh, what is this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?
- Tony Stark: Uh, he's from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.
- Tony Stark: If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?
- Dr. Stephen Strange: No can do.
- Wong: We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives.
- Tony Stark: And I swore off dairy... but then Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me, so...
- Dr. Stephen Strange: Stark Raving Hazelnuts.
- Tony Stark: Not bad.
- Dr. Stephen Strange: A bit chalky.
- Wong: A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite.
- Thor: You know, I'm 1500 years old. I've killed twice as many enemies as that. And every one of them would have rather killed me than not succeeded. I'm only alive because fate wants me alive. Thanos is just the latest of a long line of bastards, and he'll be the latest to feel my vengeance - fate wills it so.
- Rocket Raccoon: Mm-hmm. And what if you're wrong?
- Thor: Well, if I'm wrong, then... what more could I lose?
- [Thor walks away]
- Rocket Raccoon: [mutters] Well, I could lose a lot. Me, personally, I could lose a lot.
- Peter Parker: [on a school bus] Hey, I need you to cause a distraction.
- Ned: [sees the spaceship] Holy shit. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
- [Thanos has Gamora]
- Peter Quill: You let her go!
- Thanos: Ah, the boyfriend.
- Peter Quill: I'd like to think of myself more as a titan-killing, long-term booty call.
- Ebony Maw: Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies.
- [Iron Man blows a hole in the ship, Ebony Maw is sucked out into space as in the climax of Aliens]
- [from trailer]
- Thanos: In time, you will know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right. Yet to fail all the same. Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.
- Thanos: The Tesseract? Or your brother's head? I assume you have a preference?
- Loki: Oh, I do. Kill away!
- [sees Thor's traumatic suffering, screaming in agony]
- Loki: ALRIGHT, STOP!
- Thor: We don't have the Tesseract, it was destroyed on Asgard!
- [Loki reveals the Tesseract in his hands]
- Thor: You really are the worst brother!
- Loki: I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.
- Thanos: Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.
- Loki: Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian. And for another... we have a Hulk.
- [Hulk attacks Thanos]
- [from trailer]
- Nick Fury: There was an idea...
- Tony Stark: To bring together, a group of remarkable people...
- Vision: To see if we could become something more...
- Thor: So when they needed us, we could fight the battles...
- Natasha Romanoff: That they never could.